


Lesser Of Two Evils

by 666cbora



Category: Original Work
Genre: Coercion, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Manipulation, Mind Manipulation, Murder, Rape, Sexual Abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-04-16 16:24:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14168850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/666cbora/pseuds/666cbora
Summary: Luke discovers a sexual assault taking place on his walk home one winter evening.Hard choices must be made.





	1. Stranger

The winter air chilled Luke to the bone as he walked the empty, dark streets. His head was huddled into the neck of his jacket like a turtle as he desperately tried to keep warm. Puffs of breath faded into the inky darkness. Luke was tired but alert as he made his way home from a friend’s house. He was miffed for not having the foresight to drive instead of walk. He had forgotten how cold it got during the winter, and though the distance was short, he was quite afraid of the people who roamed the city at night. He recalled a terrifying encounter with a homeless crackhead a few months ago. So he walked in the light of the streetlamps and peered into the shadows best he could, trying to distract himself from the biting cold.

It was on the corner of Baker Street, just across an unsuccessful shop that was constantly changing hands, it was there that he heard a sharp scream. Luke froze, his head darting to the source’s direction. It was coming from the alley up ahead, no doubt. He started feeling his heart banging in his throat, and his blood iced up. That scream sounded young. Maybe it was a kid or something! Luke wasn’t rash, but he couldn’t stand to think some poor kid was getting mugged or something, and despite his fear he crept over, until he was peering around the corner into the alley.

Two shadowy shapes were huddled by the dumpster. One was over the other, pushing the smaller into the ground and growling quiet, harsh-sounding words. The smaller figure shook like they were sobbing or shaking terribly. Luke had trouble deciphering exactly what was going on, but the movement  of the larger figure was unmistakingly thrusting and his mind instantly knew he was witnessing a rape.

Luke didn’t even think. He stepped in front of the alley and said, “Hey! The police are coming! Get out of here!”

The larger figure jumped and pulled up their pants. The figure then looked Luke in the eyes and said in a male voice, “You’re bluffing! Don’t move, or I’ll shoot your brains all over the curb.” The glint of a gun shone in the darkness.

Luke wavered and the figure smiled. “Smart man. Now you’re gonna go home and forget any of this happened. If I hear a siren, I’ll shoot the boy.” He turned to his victim and gave a sharp kick to his ribs. “I’m not done with you.”

Shaking, Luke backed away and broke into a stumbling sprint as soon as was a good distance away. He stopped short of the next crosswalk, and ducked into a nearby cafe. He settled into a booth and put his head in his hands, his mind racing.

He sat there, keeping an eye on the clock. Sweating and feeling hot around his neck despite his numb and chilled limbs. He was terrified and after ten minutes he staggered towards the bathroom and vomited. Thinking he must look like a spastic after a long look in the mirror, he left and he settled back into the booth. Time crawled at a snail’s pace, and he barely noticed anything around him. His mind kept replaying the scene in the alley over and over, and he kept imagining scenarios where he was shot or convinced the rapist to leave with the right words, but in his mind he never ran away like a coward.

But what was he supposed to do? Get killed? Get that kid killed?

He hadn’t gotten a good look at the victim, but the rapist called him a boy, and his yell sounded young...It didn’t matter though, did it? Whoever it was, whatever his age...how horrible could it be to have something like that happen to you?

Luke didn’t know what to do. Should he tell someone? They’d call the police. Would the rapist really kill the boy like he said? What if he was just bluffing and Luke was letting him suffer over nothing…

Pulling out his phone, Luke checked the time again. It had been a half hour. Luke prayed that the rapist had finished by now, and left the cafe, his legs feeling like jelly.

He walked back to the alley as if he were on death row and he was walking to the electric chair. His feet tread softly and deliberately and he held his breath, trying desperately to hear any motion.

If he’s still there, he’ll kill me, he thought as he peered around the corned once again. But the coast was clear. Only the smaller figure was lying in a ball by the dumpster.

Still cautious, Luke entered the alley until he grew confident the rapist was gone. He knelt by the boy, and was shocked at his appearance.

He was small, anywhere from 14-16 as far as Luke could tell, but he was terrible with ages, especially with teenagers. He had dark hair and fair skin, though it was molted with so many bruises it was a bit hard to tell. It looked like his arms and legs had many tattoos, but it was too dark to make them out. The boy was clearly starved and beaten, and the torn jacket he wore was dirty and covered in mysterious stains. His pants were left around his ankles, and he wore shoes mummified in duct tape.

Luke tried to shake him awake, his heart thudded as he felt how cold the boy was. Still, after only a few shakes the kid blinked his eyes open and stared at Luke in fear and started to cry.

“Hey kid? Are you alright?”

“No, please, not again, sir,” he whimpered. “It hurts too much.”

Luke was alarmed. “No kid, I’m here to help. I’ll call the police and get you to a hospital. My name’s Luke Anderson. What’s you’re name?

“No! No, no no no!” he screamed, and Luke was suddenly frightened. The kid grabbed his wrist with a surprisingly solid and crushing grip. “Don’t! I can’t! DON’T!”

“W-why not? What’s wrong?” Luke asked.

“Don’t, don’t” the boy repeated several times. Luke shook his head in confusion.

“Okay! I get it!” the boy said suddenly, and threw himself onto Luke, sucking on his neck in desperate attempts to kiss and putting his shaking hands on Luke’s hips.

Luke instinctively shoved him off. “Stop! What’s wrong with you!”

The boy cowered and trembled and stared at Luke like a cornered rabbit. “What will it take? What do you want, sir?”

He kept shaking his head. “Not that! I-I...” He tried to regain his sanity. What was going on? This was too bizarre for him. “What’s your name?”

“I think it’s Kaden, sir,” the boy said, shaking his head a bit and getting a far off look. “It was Kaden Leach, but it’s not legal anymore.”

Luke couldn’t figure out what he meant by that. “Where do you live?”

After a long pause. “He said not to come back.”

“Who’s “he”?”

Silence.

“Y-your dad?” Luke guessed.

“No, sir.”

“Where’s your parents?”

“I don’t know, sir,” Kaden said. He was starting to curl into a ball. Luke noticed blood in between his legs.

Luke asked, feeling sick, “How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

“Do you need somewhere to stay?” He was at a loss of what to do, and while this didn’t feel right, leaving Kaden in the streets felt even worse.

“What do you want, sir?” Kaden asked again.

“To do what’s right. I don’t want you to die out here in the cold.”

Kaden pressed his face into his chest. “Leave me alone, mister.”

“You sure you don’t want me to get the cops or bring you to a doctor?”

“No, no, no no no no...”

“You were raped,” Luke said shakily.

Kaden shook his head.

“Kaden? How badly did he hurt you?”

At this point he stopped responding, despite Luke throwing a few more questions out there.

“Can I bring you somewhere safe at least? I won’t hurt you, please...” Luke finally begged.

Kaden unfurled and looked at him dully.

“Please,” Luke repeated, and hesitantly placed a hand on his should in an attempt to be comforting.

Kaden flinched and Luke pulled away. “I’m sorry.”

Despite this, Kaden got up and pulled up his pants, and Luke got up as well. Wincing, Kaden leaned against the wall, and seemed to favor his left leg. He clutched at his chest.

“Are you going to come with me?” Luke asked.

He nodded, and then flinched, eyes wide as if remembering something. “Y-yes sir.”

“Do you need help walking?”

“Yes sir.”

Wrapping his arm around Kaden, Luke helped him limp back to his apartment. It was only a block more, but the going was slow and the bitter cold didn’t let up. Flurries of snow began falling, and Luke cursed under his breath. Kaden was trembling either from fear or the winter, Luke couldn’t tell, and halfway home they had to stop and rest.

“You all right?” Luke asked.

“I’m sorry sir,” Kaden said, heaving.

“You’re doing good,” Luke encouraged.

When they finally arrived and got into the apartment, Kaden seemed to be barely conscious. Luke carried him to his bedroom and placed him on top. The cat emerged from underneath watched him curiously.

Kaden’s eyes flickered open briefly. “No, please, please don’t. No, no, no…”

“I’m not! I wasn’t planning to! I’m going to sleep on the couch,” Luke said weakly.

Kaden closed his eyes, seeming unable to move. “I’m sorry sir.”

“You don’t have to call me ‘sir”” Luke said, feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

Kaden didn’t seem to hear, and instead went limp from exhaustion.

Luke watched him carefully, wondering what he should do, and finding himself horrified at what little he had gleaned from the kid. His cat, Stormy, meowed at him, and he decided to go into the kitchen to feed her.

 

 

 

It was a brightly sunny autumn day as Kaden walked home from the bus stop. He had just finished a long day at school and was quite proud of himself for getting a B+ on his math test.

As he walked through the front door, he was surprised to see his mother chatting with her boyfriend. He had met him before, but only briefly and minutes before the babysitter arrived and he and his mom left for their date.

Her dating wasn’t a new thing, and even though this new guy had lasted far longer than the others, Kaden wasn’t confident it would hold out much longer. He didn’t really care for the men his mother dated, and each break up seemed to chip away at her further. Sometimes he wished she wouldn’t put herself through it.

“Hi, Kaden,” his mother said with a warm smile. “How was school?”

“Good,” he said, shly glancing at Mr. Thompson, or Jerry as he said Kaden could call him.

“Hey sport,” Jerry said.

“Hi. Are you guys going on a date this early?” Kaden asked bluntly.

“We’re all going out to eat tonight,” his mother announced. “I want you guys to get to know each other better.”

“Yeah, Kaden. I want us to be buddies,” Jerry said. “I was thinking I could take you to the zoo while your mom’s working on Saturday. How’s that sound?”

“Cool!” Kaden said.

And over the next few months, Kaden got to know Jerry rather well. He appreciated that Jerry didn’t try to be his father, but instead wanted to be his friend. Every few weekends, he’d take Kaden somewhere or just hang out at the house with him, playing new video games Jerry bought for him.

They got along very well, and this made Kaden’s mother very happy.

Jerry was generally nice, and while Kaden was young and naive, he quickly got the impression that Jerry was rich. Unlike when his mother took him places, Jerry had no objections to buying Kaden something he wanted, provided he wasn’t a brat about it. Kaden and his mother were used to strained funds, and Kaden was amazed at having new things so often.

Sometimes, though, Jerry was a bit odd. Sometimes, he made Kaden sit very close to him when they were alone at the house while he massaged his back while they watched TV or a movie. Kaden wrote this off though, being young, and didn’t think much of it. The only truly weird thing that happened was once he gave Kaden an odd tasting soda and then he woke up in his bed feeling kinda strange. He never confronted Jerry about it though, and mostly forgot about it.

Eventually the months turned into a few years and by the time Kaden was twelve, his mother married Jerry and Kaden couldn’t be happier. Kaden’s mother had never seemed overtly depressed, but these days she seemed impossibly happy. After the wedding, they moved into Jerry’s much larger house.

And it was around that time that Jerry stopped being nice.

It was one of the first weeks they had moved in to Jerry’s house, and Kaden was still getting used to it. There were three floors and many more rooms than he was was used to, and the silence put him on edge. It gave him a haunted-house feel, especially since the house was old and creaked sometimes in the wind. Jerry had shone him and his mother around, and talked about how it was built on the foundation of one of the first houses in the city. It was the older part of town after all, and it sort of freaked Kaden out. He never saw a ghost before, but his mother certainly believed in them so he was a bit wary that the house could be haunted.

Even if it wasn’t, he didn’t like it. He missed his old house, as run down as it was it was close to his friends. Now he was on the other side of town, and although he tried to be happy, he couldn’t help but be a little sad.

When Kaden came home from school, Jerry was there. His mother didn’t come home until around 6. Despite Jerry’s wealth, she insisted she’d go crazy stuck at home all day, and Jerry encouraged her to keep working if that’s what she wanted. Kaden smiled a bit at that, confident that Jerry only had the best intentions for the both of them.

So that day when Kaden arrived, he smiled at Jerry as he got home.

“How was school?” Jerry asked. He was in the kitchen getting a beer.

Kaden shrugged. “Same as always. Got a buncha math homework though.”

“Need help?”

“Sure!”

Jerry sat next to him at the table and chatted friendly with him for a while as Kaden did the homework. After a bit Kaden starting getting nervous without quite knowing why. Maybe it was because Jerry was sitting so damn close that he could smell the beer on his breath, but Kaden tried to push these nerves away. Nothing was wrong, he was being paranoid.

It got harder to ignore when Jerry started touching the back of Kaden’s head, rubbing his neck, but this wasn’t anything Kaden couldn’t explain away. Jerry had done this sort of thing before, and this wasn’t any different.

“Uh, I’m sort of trying to concentrate,” Kaden said uncertainly, cautiously pulling away from him.

He felt the hand on his neck tighten though, not enough to hurt, but the pressure was no longer light. Kaden’s eyes widened and he stared at Jerry. A bright light from the window plastered a jagged pattern across his face, giving him an oddly sinister look. Kaden darted his gaze back to his homework but couldn’t focus anymore, the hand holding his pencil shook.

“I’m putting through the paperwork to legally adopt you. What do you think of that?” Jerry said.

“Th-that’s great,” Kaden said, unable to move.

“You and your mother mean the world to me. I want you both to be my family.”

“Me too. You make my mom really happy.” The hand on Kaden’s neck was starting to feel like it was burning him. He desperately wanted to ask Jerry to stop, but he felt like a mouse caught by a boa constrictor, with struggle the grip would only get tighter. His gut was telling him to run but he couldn’t move.

“I love you, Kaden. You know that, right?”

Maybe if he pretended nothing was wrong nothing would be wrong and Jerry would let him go and he’d laugh at how stupid he was for thinking anything was wrong in the first place.

“You love me too right?” Jerry asked.

“Yeah!” Kaden flinched as the hand in his neck suddenly squeezed. “Jerry, what are you doing?!”

The hand relaxed. “Your skin is so soft.”

“I need to finish my homework.”

“Your eyes are beautiful. Look at me, Kaden.”

Kaden shook his head, feeling everything around him grow fuzzy. “You’re not helping me. Can you stop?”

Suddenly Jerry gripped his jaw and pulled him into a kiss. Kaden was too shocked to do anything but stare in horror as Jerry forced his tongue into Kaden’s mouth.

When he pulled away Kaden nearly fell out of his chair. “Is this a joke!? This isn’t funny, Jerry!”

He felt Jerry’s hands at his throat again, and this time Kaden instinctively tried to pry them off. Jerry’s grip pulled him into another kiss, but Kaden twisted himself and kicked Jerry in the stomach. Jerry let go with a yell and Kaden bolted out of the chair.

“You sicko!” Kaden stammered.

Jerry got up, fury darkening his face. “Don’t you love me?”

Kaden shook his head. “What about mom?! You’re married to her, not me!”

“Don’t be stupid. She’s happy that we get along.”

“Not like this!” Kaden was backing towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Jerry asked. “Get back here!”

“Leave me alone!”

Kaden rushed towards the door and bolted for the street. He ran for at least three blocks before he finally slowed, his vision unfocused as he walked the unfamiliar neighborhood. He stopped and sat against a wooden fence for a bit and tried to breath normally.

After a while the sun cast long shadows on the ground.

Kaden thought for a long time. He knew he should tell somebody about what happened. He had enough stranger-danger adults-touching-kids rhetoric from school to know that. But at the same time, he knew he would be ruining his mother’s life, and he really had liked Jerry. He felt tears flood his eyes as he despaired and wished this could all turn out to be a horrible nightmare.

After a while, when he finally stopped crying, he got up and tried to make his way home. Nothing around him looked familiar, and he started despairing that he got turned around. He pulled out his cellphone and called Jerry.

“Kaden? Are you all right?” He sounded genuinely concerned, and Kaden felt hopeful.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry I ran off. C-can we just forget what happened?” he asked.

“Of course. Where are you?”

Kaden felt so relieved he almost started crying again. “I don’t know. I got lost. I think the sign says Myrtle street?”

Soon enough, Jerry found him. Once Kaden got into the car, he thought it was over, but then the man started talking.

“Kaden, I don’t think I can stay married to your mother any longer.”

“Wh-what?” Kaden’s heart stopped.

“I want you both to be my family, and you clearly don’t want that.”

“I do!” Kaden insisted.

Jerry gripped the steering wheel hard enough to make his knuckles whiten. “You don’t love me. You don’t want to be my family.”

“Family doesn’t kiss like that,” Kaden said stupidly.

“Listen, either we love my way or not at all. I’m not settling for anything less,” Jerry said simply. “So I have to divorce your mom. I’m sorry Kaden, but you made it this way.”

Kaden was horrified. “But she’s so happy now! Our lives are so much better now!”

“It’s unfortunate. I love her so much,” Jerry admitted.

“Wait!” Kaden said, feeling guilty. He didn’t want to ruin his mother’s perfect marriage. Everything had been perfect until today. “I-I’m sorry! Please! Give me another chance.”

Jerry raised an eyebrow. “You’ll let me love you then? The way I want?”

“What exactly do you mean to do…” Kaden asked. “J-just kissing?”

Jerry grinned. “I intend to do much more than that. You know about boyfriends and girlfriends, right? You old enough to understand that?”

“You want to have sex with me?” Kaden felt dizzy. This couldn’t be real. This was wrong.

“Do you want us to be family or not?”

Kaden nodded. “Yes.”

Jerry smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know, you read enough of these types of fics or whatever, and u start to notice a lot of the same tropes. Like how many rescuers of abuse victims have adorable cats that they also rescued off the streets? i get that some of them just are par for the course with the type of story, like not going to the police or having the character be part of the police but still be allowed to get emotionally involved to the point that realistically they’d be fired, but that cat one is just kinda funny in its popularity. Idk maybe its a product of fic inbreeding and taking ideas from others. or maybe its actually intended for something, some of these stories have the “victim” literally act like a jumpy stray animal because i guess someone thinks that’s realistic and not unintentionally hilarious/demeaning, so maybe there’s more to it than I thought. Like a fucking literary foil or some shit Well, i for one included it just for the hell of it.  
> i'm not here to understand these things man  
> dude just has a cat why the fuck not


	2. Rules

When Luke woke up the next morning, he found that Kaden could barely move. He didn’t fight Luke when he asked to examine his wounds and took off his jacket. Kaden wore no shirt underneath.  Kaden only remained conscious for a few minutes before seemingly falling back to sleep. That was fine for Luke, who felt extremely awkward about the whole thing. Using what knowledge he could scrounge up on Google, Luke did his best to treat the horrific wounds he found. He knew Kaden had been hurt from the rape, but he wasn’t willing to examine those wounds or try to treat them yet. He’d much rather the kid was awake for that.

On Kaden’s stomach were bruises from the kicks he received yesterday, as well as more mysterious scars. On his back there were many cuts and bruises and it was badly scarred. Some of the marks looked like burns. Luke fought the bile rising in his throat and tried to focus on what he could do.

The other strange thing about Kaden that was hard to notice last night was that he was covered in tattoos. His wrists were circled in chains. On his left arm there was a pattern of thorny roses encircling  words like “slave, fag, pain-slut, whore, worthless, fuck-toy, bitch, liar,” and more insults Luke couldn’t stand to look at for very long. On his right there was a barcode and a troubling list of words in clear text proclaiming, “This whore has no right to refuse any kind of use and has relinquished all control of itself. Please fuck and abuse this body as you please. It enjoys torture. It is for public use.” 

Luke started shaking in rage at this. Thinking about how the boy had been begging him for mercy last night, he doubted this tattoo was gotten of his own free will. Luke wondered if this boy had been in some type of child-prostitution ring or something. It was overwhelming him, these fears and speculations and Luke hoped the boy would wake up soon so he could at least have some answers, even if they weren’t comforting.

On his shoulders there were strange symbols Luke didn’t recognize. There were several tattoos on his chest, the one in dead center was a heart-shaped lock. Around it was a pattern of chains and the words RAPE ME. Other tattoos littering his torso were odd designs of birds in cages, chained animals, thorns encircling derogatory slurs that made Luke feel sick to read.  Around his neck was the same chain pattern that went around his wrists, as well as the word FUCKTOY in all caps. 

At some point he couldn’t stand this anymore and stopped scrutinizing them entirely. If he gleaned anything, it was that all that tattoos were similar in design and all the text looked similar, excluding the message on his arm and the bar code. The chains and symbols and animals all looked like they were designed by the same artist.

Luke sighed and decided to go into the other room to cool off. He watched his cat, Stormy, pace about the kitchen and petted her.

“Oh, what am I going to do?” he asked her. He wondered if he should go to the police, despite Kaden’s wishes. At some point he has to. This is probably illegal.

Stormy gave a meow, and suddenly snapped her head away. Her ears twitched and she trotted off towards the bedroom. Kaden must be awake.

And he was. Stormy had jumped on the bed and sniffed him from a distance. Luke stood in the door frame while Kaden stared at the cat dully, sitting atop of the bedding with his knees to his chest. He blinked at her, his face red as if he had been crying.

Kaden refused to look at Luke in the eye. “What do you want with me, sir?”

“You can call me Luke, kid. I’m not going to hurt you, I promise. Are you hungry?” he asked. He felt so slimy and defensive for having to constantly convince the kid he meant no harm, but he understood it couldn’t be helped.

Kaden didn’t look up. “Yes, sir.”

“You like scrambled eggs and toast?” Luke asked.

“Yes sir.”

“All right then.”

Kaden started to get up, wincing, but Luke stopped him.

“You don’t need to get up. You should stay here and rest, and I’ll bring it to you.”

Stormy approached the kid and settled around his leg. Stormy was a friendly enough cat, and Kaden seemed to at least enjoy petting her between the ears.

“Thank you, sir,” he mumbled. “What did you say your name was?”

“Luke Anderson,” he clarified, and paused before he left. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop him. I didn’t know what to do,” he said shakily.

Kaden silently petted Stormy. Luke didn’t even know if he heard him until he said quietly, “The gun was loaded. There’s nothing you could’ve done.”

Luke wished there had been something, though.

  
  
  


Jerry didn’t bring Kaden home right away that day. Instead they arrived at a motel off the highway forty minutes away from the city. On the way, Jerry called Kaden’s mother and said he was taking Kaden for an impromptu trip to the arcade for getting a good grade on a test, and she bought it easily. This was something he had done before.

Kaden tried to fight his tears the whole way, and by the time they got there, he was emotionally strained of anything but intense dread and fear. He didn’t quite understand what was going to happen to him. His imagination couldn’t even picture it. The future was a dark place and he started hoping they’d get into a car crash before they got there and die.

It was a decent-looking motel from the outside, but the room they got was ugly as hell. The person who gave Jerry the key to the room didn’t even give Kaden a second glance.

Kaden didn’t know what he would’ve done if she had. Should he have asked for help? What good would that do? Then everything would be ruined anyways. He told himself that, but it bugged him that she didn’t notice. That he didn’t say anything.

It would bug him much later, even when he couldn’t remember her face anymore.

They got to the room. 

Kaden stood by the window while Jerry locked the door with a bolt.

Jerry looked around and sighed. “Well, I should’ve guessed it’d be this dingy. I hoped your first time would be somewhere nicer, but I suppose it doesn’t matter. You are a virgin, right Kaden?”

Kaden felt a stab of fear. He stammered, “Y-yeah.”

Jerry walked towards him. “Kaden, when I am having sex with you, there’s specific rules I want you to follow. You understand?”

Kaden nodded. “Yeah.”

Jerry wrinkled his nose. “For starters, you’ll say, ‘Yes sir.’ You call me sir here, got it?”

Kaden nodded and then added quickly, “Yes sir.”

“Good. And you’ll do what I say. This is your first time, so I’m not going to be too harsh, but you need to make an effort or I will punish you.”

Kaden gulpled.

“And everything that happens stays here, all right? This is our secret,” he said with a smile, and kissed Kaden. Kaden fought with himself not to struggle and let Jerry’s tongue invade his mouth. The whole sensation was weird to Kaden. He had never kissed before and he didn’t really like it. It was a bit frightening, but it was bearable. 

Jerry broke away. “Good, good. Now kiss me back, Kaden.”

Kaden licked his lips nervously and did his best to kiss Jerry the same way in return. Jerry grabbed Kaden’s hands and put them on his own shoulders and then picked Kaden up and pressed him against the wall, kissing him deeply. Jerry grinded against him, and Kaden felt his erection through his pants. Kaden felt panic rising in his chest, and he wanted it to stop desperately. He clutched at the fabric on Jerry’s shirt, his fists shaking as he fought to stay calm.

Let it happen, it’ll be over soon, and everything will go back to normal, his mind chanted.

And Jerry broke away again and set him down. Kaden was shaking and trying very hard not to cry. Noticing this, Jerry rubbed his shoulders and said gently, “Good boy, good,” as if he were a dog. “Your heart is beating so fast, I can feel it. You like this, don’t you?”

Kaden stared at the ground. He wanted to die.

Jerry grabbed his jaw and forced him to make eye contact. “Answer.”

“Yes sir,” he said, slightly shaking his head in a bought of cognitive dissonance.

“Do I turn you on? Be honest.”

Kaden wasn’t stupid. He knew the answer Jerry was looking for. “Yes sir.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“Y-yes sir.” Kaden shook. He didn’t like the way Jerry was staring at him.

“Don’t cover yourself up.” The man kissed him a bit more, and then put his hands on Kaden’s shoulders, pushing him to his knees. “Do you know what giving head is?”

Kaden wanted to cry. He vaguely did, but thought it’d be better to play dumb. “No sir.”

Jerry started to unzip his pants. “That’s okay. I’ll teach you how. You’re a smart kid.”

Following Jerry’s instructions, Kaden did his best. He gagged at the feeling of cock at the back of his throat, and felt panicky when Jerry pulled his hair and forced himself further down Kaden’s throat. Kaden couldn’t get oxygen and started to struggle.

“Breathe through your nose,” Jerry said, not letting up. 

When Kaden was starting to get used to it, Jerry pulled out and told him to get on the bed. Kaden was trembling uncontrollably, and he huddled against the bed frame.

In his peripheral vision, Jerry approached. “You’re so beautiful.” He got on the bed and turned Kaden around wordlessly so he was on all fours. His touch was acid, and Kaden wished Jerry would burn at touching him the way Kaden felt burned by him. Kaden wished his skin was made of fire.

“You’ve been doing so good, I’ll try to be gentle,” Jerry promised.

Kaden couldn’t help himself anymore. Tears started streaming down his face and he let himself sob silently, praying Jerry wouldn’t notice. 

He felt so small and weak. He stared at the green comforter. He dug his fists into it, studying the white floral pattern on it. He’d forget quite what it looked like later. He’d forget much of what anything looked like, but he would remember the nautious green that everything in this fucking room seemed to be. Even the light behind the blinds would turn green in his mind’s eye years from now.

On the way home, Jerry said, “Now you remember what I said, right? Not to tell anyone about anything you did?”

“Y-yes sir,” Kaden said hoarsely.

Jerry scowled at him. “You don’t call me that outside of sex.”

Kaden’s eyes widened in fear. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Just don’t forget.”

“I won’t,” he said. He felt so empty. 

Jerry sighed. “Kaden, you did so good. You know I love you, right?”

Kaden wanted to die. “Mmm-hmm,” he managed.

“You love me too, right?”

Kaden nodded vehemently. “Y-yeah. Y-you’re not going to leave mom, now, right?”

“Of course not, not that we’re now a family.”

This felt wrong. This all felt so wrong. Kaden didn’t want to ever do this again. He managed to find the courage to ask, “Can we be done? Having sex? I don’t like it.”

“Don’t lie!” Jerry snapped suddenly, making Kaden flinch. “You liked it, Kaden. You can lie to yourself, but don’t you lie to me. You came, just like me.”

“It was weird,” Kaden mumbled, shaking his head. “I feel weird.”

“Those feelings, that’s lust, Kaden,” Jerry said. “Sex is supposed to feel like that. You’re only thinking it’s weird because you’re inexperienced.”

“I’m sorry,” Kaden said. He didn’t want Jerry to be mad at him, not after he went through all of this to get him to stay. “It’s just, it hurt and I’m scared.”

“It’s okay,” Jerry said. “Let’s get some pizza, all right?”

Kaden felt panicked. “We’re going home after that, right?”

“Oh, we’re not having sex again tonight,” Jerry chuckled. “C’mon, Kaden, let’s have things go back to normal for a bit, okay? Like everything was before.”

Kaden nodded.

Like before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mystery unfolds


	3. Routine

When Luke returned, he had a tray with a plate of scrambled eggs and buttered toast. He brought jam in a small dish, unsure if Kaden wanted it or not. He also brought a nice tall glass of orange juice and some pain pills.

Kaden was still lying in bed, petting Stormy, but his attention was stolen by the heap of food in front of him.

“Here,” Luke handing him a fork.

Tentatively, Kaden bowed his head. “Th-thank you, sir.”

“Go on, eat,” Luke said, feeling fairly uncomfortable.

Still looking a bit wary, Kaden started digging in. He quickly started wolfing the breakfast down as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks. With a sinking feeling, Luke wondered if that actually might be pretty accurate.

Once Kaden was almost done, Luke asked, “Can I ask how you ended up on the streets?”

Kaden looked down. “It’s a long story, sir. I’m not sure for a lot of it.”

Luke frowned.

Then, Kaden bit his lip. “Sir? A-are you with them?”

“Who’s ‘them’? What do you mean?” Luke asked.

“Is this a-another trick?” Kaden pressed his hands against his temples. “Please, please...I can’t even tell what’s real anymore.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Kid, are you okay?”

Kaden shook his head. “Sorry, sir. I’m making no sense, am I.”

Luke laughed.

“Sir? Can I stay here a bit? My ribs hurt.”

“You sure you don’t want to go to a hospital? I’m no doctor.”

“I’m sure! I won’t!” Kaden shook his head, suddenly wide eyed.

“Okay, okay,” Luke said. “You have any family or friends you want me to contact?”

“No sir.”

Luke frowned again. Still, he was committed to helping this kid at this point. “You want to stay here and sleep for a bit, then?”

“Yes sir,” Kaden said.

"There's some pills for pain," he pointed them out on the tray. "Might help with your ribs."

Kaden nodded and gulped them down with the orange juice.

Luke took the dishes and said, “”I’ll be in the other room all day. I work from home, so shout if you need anything.”

Stormy followed Luke out, and the next time Luke passed the open bedroom door, Kaden was fast asleep.

  


Although Kaden prayed and hoped that things would go back to normal, they didn’t. A pattern emerged after the first incident. Kaden started to dread Thursdays, unable to sleep the nights before and vomiting at school as the day approached. Kaden contemplated joining any club, team, or organization at all that met on Thursdays to escape this fate, but it was useless. Jerry would surely just move it to another day.

He tried his best to act normal at school despite everything, but he couldn’t help his nerves on Thursdays or his emptiness on Fridays. His friends didn’t seem to notice anyways. They were more distant ever since he moved anyways. He felt so alone. No one seemed to notice anything was wrong, not even when he threw up in the bathroom or couldn’t look at anyone on Friday. He broke into tears in class during silent reading time and no one said anything. He was so ashamed of himself, he hoped no one had noticed.

Secretly, though, he sort of wished someone would. That someone would go up to him and say, “What’s wrong? Why are you so scared and depressed?” And he wouldn’t say anything until they absolutely made him, but by god, they wouldn’t give up until they got the answer because they’d know that something was terribly wrong. They’d sense it somehow. And when they did find out the truth, they’d say how horrible it was and that it wasn’t his fault, and that he didn’t deserve it. They’d take Jerry away and Kaden’s mom wouldn’t even care. She’d spit at him  as the cops dragged him off, and promise Kaden she’d never date again. They’d go back to their lives before Jerry, but somehow it’d be better. They wouldn’t be struggling financially and he wouldn’t overhear his mother crying on the phone to her sister about how scared she is to lose the house and that she’ll die alone. They would be fine. Everything would be happy and it wouldn’t be Kaden’s fault at all.

So Kaden didn’t tell anyone. He would go home on the bus at 3 pm on Thursdays like any other day and no one would know that today was any different.

And the moment Kaden got home, Jerry would smile at him, ask him how his day was, and then tell him to go to the to the guest room on the second floor. Kaden would nod and say, “Yes sir”, knowing the situation had now begun and he had to follow Jerry’s rules. If he didn’t, he’d be punished, and Jerry had punished him once to give him a taste of what it’d be like.

He then would go into the guest room. He then stripped off his clothes and knelt by the bed, facing the wall. The door would open, and he’d shiver at the familiar click of the lock.

After that, things were highly variable. Sometimes it was standard. Kaden was getting used to kissing and it was the only part of the process he could manage to throw enthusiasm into, mostly because it prolonged the time before he’d have to suffer through anal. As gentle as Jerry tried to be, Kaden was too young and too small to avoid hurting.

Jerry liked when Kaden would get into kissing. Maybe it was because the first few months, Kaden had to be told to kiss back and cried in some capacity every time. But now Kaden willingly sucked on Jerry’s neck and nipples, which Jerry was sensitive to though Kaden couldn’t relate. Jerry would shower Kaden in praise like he was a puppy he had trained to fetch, and everything he said had that sort of condescending vibe to it. Like Kaden was a toy he liked.

Other times Jerry would make Kaden suck him off. Kaden was getting better at this, so he was told, but it was still very unnatural to him. He always felt like Jerry was trying to choke him, and always felt panicked when Jerry pushed his head down and pulled his hair.

These things all felt unnatural to Kaden, but he was getting used to them. He wondered if he’s start to like them the way kissing grew on him and he shuddered. He felt like he was losing himself. Jerry insisted that Kaden enjoyed these things because he came and that his trembling and fast breathing meant he was excited. Jerry made Kaden repeat these things and say that he liked things even when he truly didn’t. It was easy to lie, to make Jerry happy. It was humiliating, but so was everything else. It was when Kaden caught himself repeating the lies to himself that he started to doubt his true feelings.

The worse of these sessions was when Jerry would tie Kaden up. It was always too tight. The rope dug into his wrists and ankles enough to bruise, and Kaden had to wear long sleeves to hide them. The positions were either uncomfortable or incredibly exposing. He’d feel sore after spending an hour with his hands behind his back and the corners of his mouth digging into a gag. Jerry often blindfolded him too. He felt so fucking helpless, even more so than he already was. At least with kissing, Kaden had a bit of control.

As time went on, Kaden also learned that Jerry liked choking him. It was especially true when he was giving him a blow job, but he’d also choke him when they were doing anal. It was horrible when Kaden was completely tied up and couldn’t doing a thing no matter how hard he tried to thrash about. He passed out a couple times and he never trusted Jerry’s ability to keep him alive.

The months passed and sex with Jerry soon always including being tied up and choked.

Jerry became more and more strict with Kaden. He would punish him for nodding instead of answering “Yes sir” or trying to plead with Jerry to not do something. Punishment was usually being tied up and struck with a belt on his lower back. Kaden would be punished for behavior outside of sex too, if he didn’t do a chore or clean his room or something.

Outside of the world inside that guest bedroom, Jerry acted as if nothing had changed. Kaden hated him. He started to really fucking want him dead.

Kaden wore concealing clothes too warm despite the approaching spring. He stopped talking at school unless he absolutely had to, and his friends slowly lost contact with him. He didn’t want to hang out. He didn’t want to talk to them.

Whenever his mother was around, he tried to act happy and normal. She didn’t seem to notice anything was wrong, though she did mention to Jerry that she was worried he didn’t hang out with his friends anymore.

When he could, Kaden hid in his room and stared at the wall. He couldn’t do this anymore. Something started growing in the back of his mind.

Kill Jerry.

He tried to push it away, but it grew. If he killed Jerry, his mother wouldn’t be as heart broken as if Jerry abandoned them like Kaden’s dad did. They’d also inherit his wealth, and they wouldn’t have to go back to poverty.

It was all starting to make so much sense. Kaden shook. Killing was wrong though. He couldn’t...He’s not a murderer!

But he couldn’t do this anymore, could he? Jerry would keep this up until Kaden went off to college, right? How long would that be? Six years?

Kill Jerry. Just kill him and everything will be fine.

Kaden let himself fantasize about it at the very least. He slowly became obsessed with the idea, and soon the fantasies became google searches which became plans.

But he wasn’t going to go through with it! These were just back ups in case he absolutely had to.

And then one Thursday, something changed his mind. It was one of the last days of school, and when Kade got home, he was shocked to see a man with Jerry in the kitchen.

He was almost relieved. Maybe they wouldn’t do it today, if someone was over. But something in the pit of his stomach felt wrong.

“Hey kiddo,” Jerry said. “How was school?”

“Fine,” Kaden said nervously.

The stranger smiled at him and it made Kaden sick, something about it.

“Kaden, this is John,” Jerry introduced.

“Nice to meet you,” John said, offering his hand to shake. Kaden nodded, and shook hands, and was unnerved by how he was being looked at.

“S-same,” he said.

Jerry said, “Today’s John’s birthday.”

“H-happy birthday,” Kaden offered weakly.

“Jer said you’re a good, obedient boy,” John said. “You do what you’re told.”

Kaden looked  at Jerry, pleading silently for his intuition to be wrong.

“Answer like we’re in the guest room, Kaden,” Jerry said, and he started to rub Kaden’s shoulders.

Kaden trembled. “Yes sir.”

“Good boy. Go the guest room. Like always. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Kaden did as he was told, but he felt like crying.

When Jerry arrived, he put a blindfold on Kaden and tied his hands behind his back tightly. “I told John you’re not used to this, but you’re going to have to be brave. Today, you’re allowed to cry. But you piss John off, and I’ll punish you.”

Kaden bit his lip. He wanted to beg Jerry not to let this happen, but he knew protesting would likely only lead to further punishment and had no chance of being considered. Jerry left Kaden alone on the ground, and Kaden squirmed his hands against the rope, hoping it might be a bit loose. Maybe if he got out, he could jump out the window and hide. He could run away. Running away sounded good right now.

Unfamiliar footsteps sounded  and the door was slammed shut frighteningly loud. Rough hands started groping him and he squirmed. “Pl-please,” he couldn’t help himself before he said it.

John chuckled from behind. “Jer found himself a cute one, didn’t he? Are you a good little whore for him?”

Kaden wanted to die. “Y-yes sir,” he croaked.

“Seems he’s started training you.” John pinched Kaden’s nipples sharply, eliciting a yelp. He chuckled again. “He hasn’t taught you to take pain yet, has he?”

Kaden was confused and horrified at the realization of what John was planning. Mindlessly, he gulped, “Not really, sir.”

“So innocent. I’d love to break you,” John started kissing him, still groping him and digging his nails into Kaden’s skin. Kaden tried weakly to kiss back, but then John bit his lip hard enough to draw blood and Kaden screamed.

Panting, John broke away. “Whoops. I wasn’t supposed to leave anything on your face.”

Kaden shook. “Please, p-please stop! I can’t do this!”

John tsked and said, “Talking back? I guess Jer didn’t train you all that well.”

Desperately, Kaden shook his head. “I’m sorry, sir! Please sir!”

“Guess I gotta teach you a lesson, you slut.” He heard rustling, and he heard something whip through the air before cutting into his back.

Kaden screamed, but he was lashed several more times. John called him a stupid whore and other insults, his voice growing thick with arousal. Kaden curled up and felt rough hands yanking him up and leaning him over the bed, crushing him into it. John entered him without much lube, and pressed against Kaden’s bleeding back and tied hands. Kaden started sobbing uncontrollably into the bed. Hands reached under him and pinched his nipples with sharp fingernails and he screamed. He felt a tongue on his neck and John bit his shoulder hard.

“You like that, slut? Jesus,” John said, and Kaden felt him pawing at his groin, making him hard. Kaden squirmed. He hated this.

“You fucking whore, you dirty boy,” John panted, jacking Kaden off. Kaden hated it, and came painfully after a while.

Kaden felt fire racing along his back and fell into a broken cry that was half scream. John finally came and pressed against Kaden for a long time, still aggravating his back wounds with his mouth and teeth. Kaden felt like he was at the mercy of a complete psychopath.

And then he pulled out and pushed Kaden to the floor. Kaden sobbed, praying it was over.

The door opened and Jerry’s voice asked, “How’d it go?”

“He’s a such a little slut,” John laughed. “You should be rougher with him. He’s cute when he cries.”

Kaden felt himself being made to kneel and he shook his head. Please don’t, he thought.

A slap in the face made him stop. Jerry said, “My turn, you fucking faggot.”

He pressed Kaden’s face onto his erection and fucked his throat roughly. Kaden choked.

“You should get Xander to train him,” John said.

“I was thinking about it,” Jerry panted. He thrusted in and out of his mouth, slamming against his throat. Kaden was dizzy from the lack of oxygen, and his wounds were burning on his back and on the ropes binding his hands. It was too much. He nearly passed out.

Once Jerry finally came, they left Kaden on the floor, tied up and silently burning.

The thought came back: Kill Jerry.

This time Kaden didn’t dismiss it.

No, he was going to kill him, he decided as he fumed and writhed on the cold, wooden floor.


	4. Suckerpunch

Kaden’s plan was very simple. He got up at 4 am the next day. He hadn’t slept at all, only lying in bed, staring at the darkness and feeling a pit in his stomach. His skin still burned from his wounds and he felt feverish, but he had to do it today. He couldn’t stand this any longer.

He got up and went to the bathroom on the first floor. There was a big bottle of tylenol in the medicine cabinet, almost 500 pills. Sweating, he hunched over the bathroom sink with a spoon and a bowl and carefully crushed the pills into a white powder. Once this was done, he shakily padded out into the kitchen. It was 5 am and he knew that Jerry and his mom would be up soon. The automatic timer on the coffee maker was already running the machine.

Kaden bit his lip. This was the trickiest part, the part that would draw the most suspicion and had the greatest likelihood of being fucked up. When the coffee maker was done, he poured a cup of coffee and mixed cream and sugar into it the way he saw Jerry do in the mornings before and hoped he got it right. He started to hear footsteps going down the stairs, and in a panic he dumped the crushed acetaminophen in and stirred swiftly. 

He looked up and he saw his mom just entering the room.

“Hey sweetie,” she said cheerfully. “Aren’t you a little young to be drinking coffee? You coming to the office with me today?” she joked.

Kaden grinned. “No, I just wanted to make Jerry a cup of coffee to thank him for taking me to the video game store yesterday.” This was plausible enough, Kaden hoped. Jerry bought him stuff all the time, and Kaden was always grateful. Though a bit unusual for Kaden to go out of his way to thank him like this. 

His mother smiled. “Why don’t you get ready for school, and I’ll let him know you made it when he gets down?”

Kaden felt relieved. A big hole in his plan was actually convincing Jerry to drink the coffee, but with his mother serving as proctor, Jerry would be much less likely to suspect anything. He smiled and nodded. “Okay.”

Quickly, Kaden got ready and was out the door by 6 am, only seeing Jerry briefly before he left. He smiled, knowing the poison would take a few hours to take effect, but Jerry would likely not even notice until it was far too late to get help. He knew he might’ve been a bit obvious, if Jerry dies of poison the same day he went out of his way to make a drink for him, but Kaden didn’t care. He had no reason to want his step-father dead, not any reason anyone knew about. Still, Kaden felt a mix of fear and joy that day and could hardly concentrate on anything. He worried over whether or not he was successful. 

In biology, he imagined his teacher’s desk phone ringing and her face turning dark and worried. She’d say, “I’ll send him straight away,” and then she’d look right at Kaden and say, “You need to go to the main office. It’s an emergency.” And Kaden would feign naivety and look around nervously, pretending to think, “Am I in trouble? What’s going on?” And he’d walk down the hall uncertainly, knowing the school’s cameras were watching him. He’d get to the office and his mother would be there, in tears, saying she was pulling him out for the rest of the day because something terrible has happened to Jerry. And Kaden would look so shocked and ask, “Is he okay?! What happened?” It would be hard for her to say, she’d explain he collapsed and an ambulance took him, but, but...they couldn’t save him. He’s...she’d have so much trouble saying it, she still didn’t quite believe it yet, but she’d choke it out, she’d say, he’s dead.

Kaden would shake his head and ask how this could’ve happened. They’d comfort each other and they’d go home. His mom would be in complete shock, and Kaden would do his best to comfort her. They’d surely make him see a counselor or something, but Kaden was ready to lie. He was ready to play the grieving step-son who had gotten along so well with Jerry. He was a good man, he’d say. 

And more than that, Kaden would have to find every single thing Jerry had used on him during sex. He’d find the rope, the gag, the masking tape, the blindfold and anything else Jerry might’ve been planning on using on him in the future--he’d throw them all in a garbage bag and bury them in the small patch of woods behind the shed. He’d grab Jerry’s personal computer and scour it for anything that might even hint that he’s a pedophile. He’d wipe it completely clean.

He’d do the same for all of Jerry’s belongings, he’d search hard to find any physical porn that might indicate this. Kaden would let Jerry die being the man everyone thought he was. He didn’t fucking care, and he even justified himself with this. He prayed to God to let his plan go through, pleading that he’d let Jerry’s memory remain pleasant and he didn’t care if Jerry went to hell or not, him dying now can be enough, just please, please let him die! Let him die and let everything go back to how it was!

So wrapped up in his mind’s projection, Kaden barely noticed when the bell rang and he mindlessly got on the bus to go home. He stared out the window, feeling dread building upon itself and he started imagining the worse. That Jerry was still alive and figure out Kaden tried to poison him. He picture a police car waiting for him and going to jail. He pictured a lawyer asking him why he did it. Would he tell the truth? Could he, even? What if they didn’t believe him? What if it just made everything worse? His mother would lose both him AND Jerry. He’d go to jail and everyone would think he’s gay...Kaden wanted to die. He’d rather lie and say he didn’t know. Would that be better?

Oh god, his heart was beating so hard he could feel it in his throat. He was so sweaty and his hands were ice cold, he felt like everyone must be able to tell. He couldn’t look at anyone on the bus. In his mind’s eye, they were staring at him and thinking that he was a murderer.

And then he heard the bus driver shout, “Leach! Get off, this is your stop, right?”

He jumped and dizzily made his way off, apologizing.

In front of the house, there were no police cars. He entered the house shakily, and Jerry was in the kitchen, as per usual.

“How was school?” he asked, smiling.

Kaden stared at him. Was the poison really taking this long to kick in? It’s been ten hours. He should at least have a stomach ache or something, right?

“It was fine...” Kaden said.

“Hey, just a word of advice, I get up no earlier than 5:30.”

Kaden felt a stab of fear. “H-huh?

Jerry laughed. ”Your mom said you made me coffee this morning for buying you a video game or something. Well, she drank it before I even got downstairs because she thought it would go cold.”

Kaden felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. “Wh-what?”

“You were thanking me for yesterday, weren’t you?” Jerry said, not seeming to catch any change in Kaden. “John really liked you. If you want, I’ll bring him over again. Is that what you were trying to say?”

The room was spinning. Kaden was frozen. 

“You’re so good at this, Kaden. I love you. I want to show you to some more friends.”

Everything was blurring and everything was unreal. It felt like a movie, like he was watching a movie or in a dream or something, something not...this couldn’t...this had to be...

This couldn’t be real.

It couldn’t.

There was a mistake.

Jerry kept talking, but all Kaden could hear was reality collapsing in on itself.

No.

No!  
NO NO NO NO NO!  
And then, Jerry’s phone rang.

Kaden snapped back to the world as Jerry answered with a curt “Hello?”

“Yes, this is he….She what? What-?!....Is she alright?...Yes, yes I can be there right away. I’ll leave now! Thank you.”

Jerry stared at Kaden. “Your mother’s in the hospital. She collapsed at work...We need to get to the hospital right now, come on!”

Kaden numbly followed him out the door.

 

 

Luke worked from home. He did freelance writing through a middling publishing company, and while the pay wasn’t great, it was liveable. Right now he was working on a book about traveling through the nevada desert, compiling it from a series of interviews and pre-written prose. It was tiring, and he half payed attention to the crime show on the tv as he typed away on his laptop.

Stormy purred at his feet, and they watched the tv quietly.

Luke couldn’t stop thinking about the stranger sleeping in his bed, though. His mind tormented him about what awful things must’ve happened to him and how on earth he could’ve ended up like that. When the crime show became about investigating a rape, he changed the channel to a shitty tv court show instead. It was making him anxious.

Around 3, he checked on the kid again. He was squirming and twitching in bed, like he was having a particularly vivid nightmare or something. 

Luke hesitantly approached. “Kaden?” he asked softly. “Kaden, wake up. It’s just a dream.”

Kaden’s eyes flickered open and he jolted into a sitting position, immediately wincing at the pain. 

“Hey, take it easy,” Luke said.

Kaden wouldn’t meet his gaze but seemed constantly aware of Luke’s hands even if he wasn’t looking in their direction. “Sorry sir.”

“Nightmare?”

“Ha,” Kaden said humorlessly. “Yes sir.”

“Can you not call me, ‘sir’? Just call me Luke,” he repeated.

Kaden stared wide eyed at the ground, wincing. He gulped. “Y-you’re gonna get me in trouble.”

“What?” Luke said. “I promise you’re safe here, kid. Please, please believe me.”

With effort, Kaden forced himself to relax. “I-I’m sorry. I can’t tell if it’s real or not.”

“You’re not making sense again.”

“Sorry sir, I mean, Luke,” he corrected.

Luke tried a smile. “You feeling any better?”

Kaden shrugged. “A bit.” 

“You need anything?”

He suddenly got apprehensive. “Uh...I sort of want to take a shower or a bath or something.”

“Alright. Can you stand?”

Luke helped him get out of bed, and Kaden had to lean on him to limp to the bathroom. 

“Is something wrong with your leg?” Luke asked, annoyed at himself for not checking it out earlier. He remembered Kaden had been favoring his left when they went home yesterday.

Kaden blinked at the ground. “I think it’s sprained.”

When they got to the bathroom, Stormy following curiously behind, Luke sat Kaden on the edge of the bathtub and rolled up his pant leg. Sure enough, his left ankle was fairly swollen. “I’ll get some ice for that after you get cleaned up,” he said.

Feeling extremely awkward, he offered, “Do you think you can bathe on your own?”

Kaden shook his head.

“You alright if I help you, then?”

He nodded.

Luke gave an uncomfortable smile. “Then let’s make this as awkward as possible, okay?”

He smiled a bit at that.

 

 

On the way back from the hospital, Jerry and Kaden barely spoke. When they got home, Jerry made a phone call, starting to make funeral arrangements.

Kaden sat on the couch numbly, staring at his hands. He couldn’t even cry. He felt like everything around him wasn’t real. He didn’t notice much until Jerry’s figure darkened the doorway of the living room.

“That coffee this morning...you put something in it, didn’t you?” Jerry said. “You tried to kill me!”

Kaden felt something in him give. He started crying. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry...”

Jerry grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. “You’re the reason Pamela is dead! You murderer!”

Kaden stared at him wide eyed. “She wasn’t supposed to die! It was supposed to be you!”

“I thought you loved me,” Jerry said, yanking him into the air. 

Kaden choked. “I hate you!”

Jerry threw Kaden to the floor. “Strip. I’ll show you what hate really is.”

Kaden shook his head. “You can’t make me anymore! I don’t want to live with you! I’ll tell everyone what you’ve been doing, you monster!”

“And I’ll tell them who murdered your mother,” Jerry growled and Kaden grew silent.

“You’re a murderer, Kaden. You killed your own mother, and you’re calling me a monster? I don’t think it’ll ever be enough to make up for what you did, but I’ll punish you anyways. You’re a horrible child,” Jerry said.

He started crying again. “I didn’t mean it! It was a stupid mistake. I-I want my mom back! Oh God, what have I done?!!”

Jerry shook his head. “That won’t bring her back. I loved her.”

Kaden sniffed and stared at the ground, stinging.

“Strip!” Jerry repeated, and kicked him.

Yelping shakily, Kaden hastilly started yanking off his clothes. His back stung at the friction, his wounds from John barely scabbed over. “Is this sex, sir?”

“No! Get on all fours!” Jerry growled.

Bowing his head, Kaden did so.

He heard Jerry taking off his belt and he gulped. “W-wait, the wounds!”

Jerry didn’t listen and struck him full force. Kaden screamed. 

Jerry hit him again and again, and it must’ve been over thirty times or maybe an eternity. Kaden’s arms shook and at some point he couldn’t support himself and fell to the cold, wooden floor. His back was wet with blood, partially from the re-opened wounds. If yesterday he felt fire racing down his back, today is was like lava had been poured all over him. He sobbed and screamed, yelping apologies until he couldn’t speak.

At some point he passed out into thoughtless sleep, but when he awoke he was on his bed and Jerry was bandaging up his back.

“I should kill you. A life for a life,” Jerry said. 

Kaden gulped. “Please...I’m sorry...”

“You were doing so good, Kaden. Why’d you have to do a stupid thing like this? You’re such an idiot.”

“I’m sorry…” and felt Jerry swat his face lightly.

“From now on, it’s sir when we’re alone, got it?”

“Yes sir.”

“I’m going to take you to a friend soon, someone who’ll train you so you’ll ever betray me again. That’s your use to me, Kaden. This is all your fault. I want you to remember this forever: you killed her, and no punishment will ever make up for what you’ve done. You should thank me for showing you any mercy.”

“Thank you sir,” Kaden squeaked. 

When Jerry finished treating him, he left and Kaden fell back into a worried sleep.

  
  
  


Luke gave Kaden some of his old clothes, which were quite baggy on him, but at least they were clean. The bath went better than he expected. Kaden sat at the bottom of the tub while Luke helped him get soap on himself and rinsed him off. It had been as uncomfortable as he feared at first, but at some point he got over it and buckled down to get the job done. It helped that Stormy had sat herself on the closed toilet and was a good distraction for the both of them. They pretended that she was pointing out spots that Luke missed and chastising them for doing things wrong. Her tail twitched every time they said her name, and Kaden actually laughed.

Luke was fairly chuffed that got Kaden to smile a bit, and the process went smoothly after that. Luke tried not to pay attention to the kid’s body, but he was so very thin and bruised, it was hard not to stare a bit. He also noticed the tattoos on his legs and back had the same design as the ones on his arms and chest. There must’ve been dozens of new ones, and the themes of thorns and slurs were not absent. The chain pattern around his neck and wrists were also present around his ankles. On the side of his left leg, the largest tattoo was that of a feathered snake that looked aztecian in nature. On the right was more strange. The largest tattoo was also on the outside of the leg, and it was a large pattern of roses and thorns encircling a word that wasn’t a tattoo at all, but a scar, like someone had carved it into his skin. It was MURDERER.

When Kaden was clean and dried off and dressed, Luke helped him to the living room and laid him on the couch, after asking if he wanted to watch TV or not and Kaden nodding. He left to get ice for Kaden’s swollen ankle. When he came back, Stormy had settled between Kaden’s legs and he was petting her again. Luke gave him the ice and asked if he cared what they watched. Kaden shook his head, so Luke put on the news.

Luke was done working for the day, so he went to make dinner. Being a lousy cook, he eventually decided to order a pizza instead and asked Kaden what kind of pizza he liked and if he was allergic to anything. Getting another non committal answer and assurance allergies were not an issue, he settled on pepperoni, made the call, and went back into the living room. He sat on the couch with Kaden and watched a medicine commercial.

“You have a lot of tattoos,” Luke said, trying not to make him feel uncomfortable. So far every inquiry he’s made has lead to distress or refusal to comment, so he was fairly surprised when Kaden answered.

“I got most of them two years ago,” he said. “I don’t really like most of them.”

“Did someone make you get them?” Luke asked.

Kaden petted Stormy absently. “I don’t even know what the ones on my back look like, or what they say. All I know is one of them says...says, ‘Xander’s whore’...”

Luke frowned. “Kid...”

“Could you tell me, sir, I mean, Luke?” he said suddenly. “What they are, and what they say?”

Luke didn’t know what to do. “I wasn’t really looking, in the bath. I don’t remember.”

Kaden sat up, disturbing Stormy who jumped to the floor, tail flicking. He turned his back to Luke and pulled up his shirt. “Please tell me.”

Luke blinked. He guessed he was doing this now. “Just all of them?”

Kaden nodded.

“Well, like in the center of your shoulder blades is the one you mentioned, and under that on the left there’s a crow in a cage encircled in six suns, and each has a letter, K, I, L, L, E, R and...wait...I can just show you,” he said suddenly, and grabbed his phone off the table. “Can I take a picture so you can see?” he asked.

Kaden nodded again, so Luke snapped it and handed him the phone. Luke was glad, not only so he wouldn’t have to repeat the insults littered on Kaden’s back, but also because his tattoos were numerous and complicated to describe. Luke darkly wondered who would put so much time in such complicated and intricate designs for such an awful purpose.

Kade stared at the picture a long while, and handed the phone back. “Thanks.”

“I’m sorry,” Luke said, not really knowing why. “That someone forced you to get tattoos.”

“I like this one,” he said after a long while, and showed him the feathered snake on his left leg. “He let me choose that one. I wanted it on my arm, though.”

More silence followed, and suddenly Kaden asked, “Do you think they make me ugly?”

“The tattoos? No, of course not,” Luke said nervously. 

“Not even all the words?” 

“They’re not true. You didn’t choose them.”

“You’re wrong. I earned them,” Kaden said bitterly.

“I...I don’t think that’s true. No one deserves to be called those things,” Luke stammered.

He shook his head. “You really don’t know me.”

“Kaden, listen to me. You didn’t ask to be raped. You clearly didn’t want these tattoos. No one should force you to do things you don’t want. If they do, they’re the assholes, not you.”

“You’re too nice,” Kaden stammered. “Why are you helping me?”

Luke shrugged. “You’re all alone. No one else will.”

Kaden smiled faintly.

The pizza arrived, and they both ate. Stormy watched, trying to get Kaden to give her a bit of the delicious smelling pizza, and succeeded in getting a pepperoni off of him when he thought Luke wasn’t looking. Luke was too amused to tell him giving her people food would only make her ask for more.

Luke put on a movie that was playing, a not-too-serious comedy, and they all fell into comfortable silence. 

After an hour, Luke fell asleep, and when he woke up, Kaden was fast asleep, his head on Luke’s leg. Luke didn’t want to disturb him and instead lay still. He watched Kaden twitch in his sleep, and not really thinking, Luke stroked his hair until he seemed to calm down. Stormy watched from the other end of the couch, her golden eyes shining in the dark.

Luke watched TV until he fell back into sleep, hand resting on Kaden’s shoulder.


	5. Change of Rules

Kaden shivered, naked and kneeling in a cold cement room and tied to a thick metal pole. It’s been a while since the cold burned him. On him was a collar and chains stretching his aching arms above him and pulling his ankles to the sides of the pole. A gag stretched his mouth open and drool slathered the side of his mouth. He’d been like this for hours, left to dread what could possibly be waiting for him.

Only a month after his mother’s funeral, Jerry had moved them to the countryside. Kaden had kept his silence, part for guilt and part for fear of being found out as a murderer. So far, Jerry was keeping his secret. When they found out his mother died of liver failure, unusual for someone who doesn’t drink, somehow Jerry had made all suspicion disappear until they were left alone.

After they moved, the rules changed.

Now Kaden called Jerry “sir” all the time, unless they were in public and could easily be overheard. He also punished and fucked Kaden every night for about a week, until he said he was giving him a break for three days.

At the end of those days, Jerry was giving Kaden to a friend to “train”. 

Kaden didn’t know what this meant, but he begged Jerry not to, that he’d be good, that whatever he wanted he didn’t have to be trained for.

But it was of no use.

So on that day, Kaden was tied up in a room in the basement and left in the cold for hours, waiting for his new trainer. Someone named Xander.

Kaden didn’t cry. He’d done that the nights previous.

A sudden bang of the door announced Xander’s arrival. Flinching, Kaden’s eyes snapped to the door frame.

Xander was a big man with short, blonde hair. He had dark eyes. He wore nice enough clothing. Kaden figured he must be rich, like Jerry.

“So you’re the murderer?” he hissed.

Kaden winced, making Xander laugh.

“Killed your mom? What a horrible little slut.”

He locked the door with a bolt. “Jeremiah’s not allowed in here while you’re being trained, though I doubt he’ll try to stop me. You know why you’re being trained, whore?”

Kaden shook his head.

Xander crouched to his level and grabbed his chin. “You fucking bitch-dog, drooling all over itself. I’m gonna love breaking you.”

Kaden whimpered.

“I train slaves. That’s what you’ll be when I’m done. Obedient,” Xander growled. “I also will teach you to respond to pain. Some people naturally find it arousing. You don’t. That’s what Jeremiah’s told me. I’ll change that. Soon, you won’t be able to get hard without someone slapping you in the face,” he laughed.

Kaden squirmed a bit. He was starting to lose any composure he had built up. He didn’t want this! He couldn’t do this!  
Sure enough, Xander slapped him. “Quit it, slut! Your training starts today.”

He ungagged him, and Kaden flexed his sore jaw.

“Say, thank you, master.”

“Th-thank you, master,” Kaden repeated hoarsely.

Xander slapped him again, bringing tears to Kaden’s face.

“What do you say, whore?”

“Thank you master.” Kaden wanted to die.

Xander gripped his jaw so hard Kaden thought it would snap. “By the end of this, you’re going to know just how worthless you really are. I want you to be endlessly thankful when someone takes the time out of their day to fuck you till you bleed and use you as the cum dispenser you are. I want you to believe all of this, because it’s true.”

Xander put the gag back on Kaden, who winced at the pain, and grabbed his penis. Roughly, almost painfully, Xander started jerking Kaden off. Kaden squirmed and cried, but he quickly got hard and started panting and moaning as his climax neared.

And Xander stopped and suddenly squeezed Kaden’s balls hard. Kaden screamed through the gag, his erection dying. The denial mixed with the pain was dizzying and he slumped a bit, shakilly summoning tears again.

Xander walked over to the bag he brought and pulled out something metal. “You see this, whore? This will make it so you can’t cum.” He also pulled out another strange object. “This is a vibrator. You see where this is going?”

Kaden squirmed and shivered as Xander put the device on and locked it. He felt Xander shove his fingers into his asshole carelessly, and it burned when he pushed the vibrator in.

But then he turned it on.

Immediately, Kaden felt himself get hard. Xander started unzipping his pants.

He took the gag off and ignored Kaden’s pleas, and instead thrusted his cock into Kaden’s throat and started fucking his face. He grabbed Kaden’s head by the hair to push himself deeper in, and pulled in and out so rapidly Kaden got very dizzy. He could barely breath and he felt Xander’s cock slamming against his throat. The pain from his ass only made it worse, and he started shaking uncontrollably.

The need for Kaden to come was building. He tried grinding his hips for any sort of release, and felt extremely frustrated. It was starting to hurt. 

When Xander came, he pulled out and let semen run all over Kaden’s face. He strapped the gag back on and left the kid shivering and crying limply.

Kaden begged around the gag to be allowed to cum, but Xander ignored him. Instead, he saw him take out a remote and press a button, and suddenly the vibrator intensified. Kaden moaned in pain.

He heard the door slam and tried to retreat mentally from the pain his body was in. If this was how Xander was going to train him, Kaden was going to die.

  
  
  


The next day passed much like the last, only this time Kaden spent the day watching TV, seeming to drift in and out of sleep. The swelling in his ankle went down significantly, and he was quite able to hobble into the kitchen for lunch. Luke did his work early, and watched a few movies with Kaden. 

He watched the kid carefully. While compliant in most respects, Kaden still seemed a bit wary of Luke. He did seem to be more relaxed though, which was good, though sometimes noises outside would get him to flinch. Petting Stormy seemed to help, and Luke appreciated the grey furball’s presence in these dire times. 

He also became more curious about Luke. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-three last month.”

“What do you do? For work?”

“I’m a freelance writer.”

“What’s that?” Luke noticed Kaden actually glanced at his face briefly before pinning his gaze to the ground. He didn’t notice how brightly green Kaden’s eyes were before.

Luke replied, “It’s mostly ghostwriting books or doing stuff for websites.”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No.”

“A boyfriend?”

Luke blinked. “No.”

“Where are you from?”

“I was born in this city, actually,” he said.

“Where’s your parents?”

“They moved to the countryside when I went to college.”

“Where’d you get Stormy from?”

Luke smiled. “Came with the apartment. Previous renter left her and the landlord was gonna give her to the pound. So I said I’d take her.”

Luke asked what Kaden’s plans were, where he was planning to go. Kaden shrugged and Luke assured him he could stay here as long as he needed.

It was occuring to Luke more and more that even though Kaden could barely make eye contact, he was very aware of Luke in his peripheral vision. Even if the kid was staring downwards, he twitched everytime Luke moved his hands or got up. It made Luke a bit nervous, and he was a bit frustrated even if Kaden didn’t seem to be doing it on purpose. Luke wished he could get a bit more information out of the kid. He still seemed cagey about explaining what happened to him.

All Luke knew so far was that he was kicked out of wherever he was staying, his parents were out of the picture, and someone made him get a fuckton of tattoos...did he say 2 years ago? He was oddly insistent on calling him “sir” until he asked him not to multiple times, was afraid of going to the police or the hospital... Did he break the law or something?

Luke was almost certain that the rape two days ago wasn’t the first sexual assault this kid had experienced, as sick as it was for him to even think of it. The tattoos themselves indicated as much, the parts calling him names and the paragraph on his arm asking readers to take advantage of the wearer. The words RAPE ME and FUCK TOY big on his chest and neck...yeah, Luke couldn’t convince himself that this kid wasn’t being terribly abused. Not to mention that when he first found him, Kaden seemed to think Luke wanted to fuck him. Despite having just been...raped...Luke remembered the kid grabbing him and kissing his neck and touching his waist shakily. In freezing cold alley, Luke remembered it so vividly, the shaking, desperate figure clinging to him and his own instinctual reaction to get him off. He wished he hadn’t been so rough, pushing him off so bluntly when he was already hurt beyond what Luke could imagine, but it had been a reaction.

“What will it take? What do you want, sir?”

He shook his head slightly to dispel the memory. Nothing about Kaden’s behavior seemed particularly normal or healthy. It was all very unnerving, and even if he didn’t seem particularly unstable right now, Luke was little afraid of this strange boy.

It didn’t help that this had to be illegal, not reporting any of this to the police, right? Luke couldn’t be sure. Luke needed someone to talk to...this was all getting a bit out of hand, and he was afraid he’d go off the rails. He decided to give a friend a call and stepped out into the other room. 

“Anderson?” a voice answered.

“Hey, how’s it going, Steve?” Luke said. 

“Eh, not much. Why ya calling? Got a publishing deal for your best sellin’ books yet?” he joked and laughed.

Luke was not amused. “You know I’m not ready...”

“You’ve been yapping about writing a best selling book for ages, Anderson, but lemme guess, the right idea hasn’t come along yet?”

“Steven, I’m glad you’re concerned about my career, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about,” Luke rolled his eyes.

“Changing the subject I see! Well okay, what do you want then?”

“Steve, uh, how much do you know about the law concerning...uh...harboring someone?”

“Shit Luke! What the fuck have you gotten yourself into?!”

“Steve...”

“What, did you find a down-on-his-luck bank robber and felt so bad you let him crash on your couch?”

“Steve!”

“Or do you mean an illegal alien or something? Shit, Anderson, I know you’re a bleeding heart but-”

“Steven! I saw a kid get raped in an alley when I was walking home from your house on Wednesday!” Luke interjected. He used Steve’s stunned silence to continue, “I couldn’t just leave him there! And he begged me not to call the police or the hospital or nothing, he was so afraid, so I brought him home and I don’t know what to do!”

Steve was quiet for a bit. “How old is he?”

“Seventeen,” Luke said quietly. 

“He’s a minor then. You could go to jail. You should’ve called child services the second you got home with him.”

“He’s really messed up, Steve. He’s covered in these tattoos that...they’re horrible words. They-they say things like ‘rape me’ and stuff like that... ”

“Jesus fuck,” Steve said.

“He says someone made him get them, that he doesn’t like them. He’s...he’s completely covered in them, and he’s barely told me anything. He said he was kicked out of his house and his parents are gone. I don’t know what to do, Steve.”

“Jesus, how do you get yourself into these messes, Anderson?”

“Steve, Steven, please, I don’t know what I should do.”

He heard a sigh on the other end and some shuffling. “Did the kid give you a name, so I can try and dig up some dirt, see where he came from, try and figure out his circumstances?”

“He said it was Kaden Leach, but...the weird thing is, he said it wasn’t legal anymore, whatever that means.”

“Not legal anymore? That’s fucking odd. Look, if you get any more info out of him, text me, okay? I’ll come by tomorrow around noon, show you what I found.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. See you then.”

“Hey, Anderson?”

“Yeah?”

“Be careful, okay? You found a strange kid on the street, doesn’t mean he’s safe, you know? Keep an eye on him.”

“I will, thanks.”

He hung up and went back into the living room. He noticed Kaden was sitting stiffly, his knees up to his chest.

“I was calling a friend,” Luke tried to explain, hoping being transparent would alleviate the kid’s fears. “He’s coming by tomorrow. He...he wants to meet you.”

Kaden looked like he was going to cry. “Please, please don’t sir, please...”

“Hey kid,” Luke tried to be comforting, and sat next to him on the couch. “His name’s Steve, and he wants to help you. That’s all. He’s not with the police or anybody.”

Surprisingly, Kaden started clinging to Luke’s arm, burying his face. “Please, is...is he gentle? He’ll be gentle with me?”

Something in Luke’s mind clicked. “Wait! No, no, kid! He’s...he’s not going to touch you or anything! I promise, that’s not...he’s a good man. No one’s going to hurt you, Kaden. I promise.”

Kaden took a few deep breaths and pulled himself together. “I’m sorry...I assumed...”

Luke felt shaky. “Kid, believe me, I’m not going to let anyone touch you, okay?”

Kaden nodded. “I’m sorry. I...keep forgetting I’m not in that world anymore, that normal people like you don’t...”

Luke didn’t know what to think of that. “I guess you’re waiting for me to prove you wrong then, to show that you never left?”

“I have trouble telling what’s real,” Kaden admitted. “None of this feels real. You’re too nice.”

That night, they settled into the previous night’s routine of watching TV on the couch for hours. Kaden seemed slightly unaware of current events, saying he didn’t recognize most of the movies and was only vaguely aware of the actors. The night passed fairly comfortably.

After another movie, Luke was sleepily aware of Kaden sitting up on his knees and crawling towards him on the couch. “I...I want to thank you. For letting me stay here,” he said.

Luke didn’t quite comprehend. “It’s no problem kid, I told you.”

And suddenly Kaden was on Luke, kissing him and putting his hand on his groin. Luke became wide awake and froze. He broke away from the kiss, saying, “Stop. You don’t have to do this. I...I said it was fine....”

“I want to thank you,” Kaden repeated. “Please let me. I felt you get hard when I touched you.”

Luke felt his face get warm. “I’m not like that. That doesn’t mean...It’s not a good idea. I told you I wouldn’t hurt you.”

But Kaden kissed him again, and kept rubbing at Luke’s erection through his jeans. The room was dark except the flickering TV. Stormy had left, tail twitching, not wanting any part of this, casting Luke condemning glares. Or at least it felt like she was judging him.

Luke didn’t want to admit it, but Kaden’s touch felt so good. 

He should stop him. He really should.

This was wrong, this was so so wrong. This was a kid. This was a kid he was housing and might go to jail for kidnapping. He couldn’t have sex with him. He was a minor. This looked so bad, this was wrong.

But Luke couldn’t help himself, his tongue was in his Kaden’s mouth and he was kissing back while he felt his jeans being unzipped. His brain was getting hazy. He barely knew what was happening until Kaden had broken away and had his mouth on his dick.

It had been so long since Luke had had sex with someone, and he’d only done it the one time years ago. A girl he went to highschool with...and it had been conventional, clumsy sex. He’d never gotten a blowjob before. Maybe that’s why he was letting this happen. That he wasn’t stopping Kaden. Maybe it was because Kaden initiated it, that it didn’t feel like he was taking advantage of the kid. He protested, didn’t he? 

Plus it felt so good. Kaden’s tongue on his cock in his mouth, Luke unconscious grinded his hips. Kaden guided Luke’s hands to his head and Luke’s hands turned into fists. He wasn’t trying to hurt him, but his fingers dug into Kaden’s hair and tugged his face closer. He was so hard, the need for release was clouding everything. He needed the warmth and wetness of Kaden’s mouth. 

Was he even attracted Kaden? Not really. Not until he started doing this, at least.

But Luke didn’t even want this, even if his body clearly did.

He panted as Kaden took him deeper in his throat, stroking him with his tongue. The kid was shaking a bit, clearly trying hard, but something about his posture was off. Even in the dark, it was clear. It looked like he had a gun to his head or something.

It made Luke feel so guilty. Even though he told Kaden to stop. He told him not to do this. 

“Shit!” Luke moaned, and he came. He didn’t mean to. The pleasurable convulsion mixed with guilt and the brief clarity was suddenly stolen by the pit in his stomach.

Kaden was panting as Luke broke away and quickly zipped his jeans. He stared at the ground and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

“I’m sorry,” Luke was shaking. Everything was coming back to him. He shouldn’t have done that. He’s supposed to be an adult. What kind of sick person could let this happen? 

Kaden stared at him with a bewildered look. “I thought you liked it? You came.”

“I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have let you,” Luke was tripping over his own words. “I said I wouldn’t touch you. I...I’m straight...”

The kid was getting more and more anxious. “I wanted to thank you.”

“I told you to stop!” Luke suddenly raised his voice.

Kaden shrank back. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! You seemed like you wanted it!”

He took a deep breath. “That didn’t give you the right.”

In the darkness, he could tell Kaden was breaking down, almost to tears.

Luke tried to be fair. “I’m sorry. I’m just mad that I didn’t stop you. If I really wanted to, I could’ve made you stop, but I didn’t. That’s on me.”

Kaden tried to breathe. “Did I ruin things? Do you hate me now?”

“No.” 

Kaden bit his lip. After a while, he asked, “Why didn’t you stop it? You said if you wanted to, you would’ve.”

“I...” Luke didn’t want to be honest, but he also couldn’t lie to himself anymore. “I liked it. That’s why. It was good.”

“I liked kissing you,” Kaden said. “Did you like it?”

“Yes,” he admitted.

“Can we kiss again?” Kaden whispered. 

“I told you, it’s a bad idea.”

“Why?”

Luke was at a loss. “I’m an adult, and you’re a minor. And I’m harboring you in my house. I’m keeping you from the police. Don’t you think that looks suspicious enough without me putting my tongue into your mouth?”

Kaden blinked. “I won’t tell. No one has to know.”

Luke didn’t know how it happened, what exactly Kaden had said that convinced him, but somehow the kid was on top of him, kissing him deeply and slowly. Guilt still lodged itself in Luke’s throat, but it was secondary to what his body wanted. Though Luke’s memory can’t recall the exact moment, they fell asleep together some time later.

  
  
  


“Please let me cum, master,” Kaden begged, his voice barely a whisper. He was shaking and tired. He was still tied to the pole, but his arms had been lowered to prevent loss of circulation.

It had been at least a few days, but Kaden was losing his sense of time. The room was always dimly lit and he hadn’t been fed. He’d only seen Xander since the ordeal began. The only thing he had been given was water, and had peed himself to his humiliation.

Xander had unchained him and made him lick up his mess. The whole ordeal was completely gross to Kaden, and he nearly threw up every moment of it. He wanted to die. He didn’t think a human being should be made to live through such an act and be expected to live with it.

But humiliation seemed to be Xander’s entire aim. He kept Kaden constantly on edge of orgasim until it hurt. It was torture. He wanted Kaden to beg and not get release. It made Kaden want to cry.

“Do slaves deserve to cum?” Xander asked.

“No master. I’m worthless,” he said nervously. “But please, I’m begging you, master, Let me cum.”

At this point, Kaden was willing to do anything.

Xander grinned.

He grabbed a painful looking chain with two clamps, and Kaden immediately squirmed in fear. He screamed when Xander clamped them down on his nipples and yanked the chain hard enough to make them stretch. His chest heaved as he tried not to break down. Xander took out his cock and put it to Kaden’s face.

“Be a good slave and service me, and I might let you cum.”

Shaking, Kaden licked along the shaft slowly and thoroughly, flicking his tongue across the tip. He took it in his mouth and swirled his tongue around the thing, trying his best to win the right to finally cum. 

It didn’t take long for Xander to start grinding into Kaden’s face. He slammed his cock against the back of Kaden’s throat and Kaden adjusted to the oxygenlessness that Xander’s face-fucking entailed.

When Xander came, Kaden swallowed all of his seed and tried his best not to struggle while Xander took his time taking his dick out, well aware that Kaden was suffocating.

“Good whore,” Xander laughed.

“Please let your useless slave cum, master,” Kaden begged.

Xander surprisingly knelt and took off the device.

Kaden was already hard, and remained so when felt Xander yanking on the chain attached to his nipples.

“If you want to come, it will be to this. If you can’t come from pain, you won’t come at all.”

Kaden started to cry. “Please master, please...”

Xander was already yanking it again, so hard it felt like he’d rip them off. Kaden screamed. He knew they were bleeding, he could feel it. He also felt Xander’s hand pumping his cock in the same rough, painful way as before.

Despite himself, Kaden felt himself cumming. He shuddered at the release and felt himself spasm. It was painful somehow, and he trembled and went limp.

Kaden saw fuzzy lights and was barely aware of Xander packing up and leaving until he heard the door slam shut again. Exhausted, he passed out.


	6. Results

Training seemed to last years. Kaden began losing all sense of time, and besides his interactions with Xander, he was often left alone and immobile. Only rarely was he not restrained in some way, and it was in these moments that he curled up in a ball and faced the corner furthest from the door, screwing his eyes shut and having trouble thinking.

The room he became very familiar with, even when he was blindfolded or drugged, he knew it’s dimensions and it’s material. The floor and walls were of concrete, though the walls were much rougher in nature and lighter in color from the blue-grey of the floor. The ceiling was standard rough-ceiling material that Kaden had no name for, and by the door a flickering fluorescent light gave dim but steady illuminescent to the scenario. In the corner was a drain, and when Xander decided to clean him, he’d put him over the drain and dump freezing water over him from buckets. If Kaden was allowed to move about, he went to the bathroom there too.

When Kaden wasn’t blindfolded the constant light made  it hard for him to sleep. It only took a few days to get used to constantly being naked, but the light was something he never seemed to get used to. Not that Kaden could sleep much anyways, either from the discomfort of however he happened to be tied up or of devices on him enacting pain. The constant fear and uncertainty certainly didn’t help. But eventually, Kaden would pass out from sheer exhaustion and his dreams would be vivid yet unclear nightmares. He felt himself twitching and being touched and other physical sensations and when he finally managed to pull himself out of this state, he’d be panting and sweating and shaking. Deep, restful sleep was a rarity, and soon Kaden was living off of this shallow, restless sleep.

Food was also restricted. At first, Kaden thought they were going to starve him, but after some time it began that every day he’d receive water. Xander would either give him a water bottle or (if he were tied in such a way that both his hands were not free) he’d force him to down it in two swigs. Kaden also got regular meals, though he was still being underfed. Usually he had to service Xander in some way to get fed, and Kaden wasn’t too proud to do so. He was compliant to the best of his ability, as he figured fighting was useless. No, he’d rather play good slave until he could get out of here so their guard would be down, not that he was in a state to do much planning right now.

Boredom was the worse. Being left alone long enough, and Kaden’s thoughts turned fuzzy. Often being unable to move much, he was alone to study the pattern of grains on the ceiling or try to sleep if he was blindfolded. If he was in pain, both these activities did nothing to distracting and the most he could do is writhe and spend equal amounts of time praying to God to make it stop and begging God to let the pain kill him already. It became such that Xander’s return was almost anticipated. At least it was something, whether it made things better or worse.

It was often the latter.

Training seemed to be endless excuses to torture or humiliate Kaden. He didn’t even know what the point of it was supposed to be, except probably to punish him for his mother’s death. Kaden didn’t know. His will to understand was grating away.

One of Xander’s goal seemed to be getting Kaden to be aroused by pain. For a long time, he’d constantly stimulate Kaden for absurdly long periods of time until Kaden was begging to be allowed to cum. He’d wait for Kaden to be at these low moments, willing to do pretty much anything. 

Kaden was humiliated during these times, but the pain of being on edge for so long made him swallow his pride. What Xander would make him do depended, but it was often gross or painful or both. One time, he untied Kaden and told him to initiate sex and beg every step of the way “like a whore”. Another, he whipped him for an hour. Another, he had Kaden drink his piss. This was something that really off-putted Kaden, Xander’s fixation on humiliating him with urine. The only thing that gave Kaden any solace is that Xander wasn’t doing the same with feces. Kaden didn’t care how much pain he was in, he’d rather die.

When Kaden completed a task and was finally allowed to cum, Xander always made it as painful and as forced as ever. Kaden guessed whatever Xander’s plan was working, because now whenever he was struck or hurt in someway, he felt himself get hard.

“You really are a whore,” Xander said when he noticed.

“Yes, master,” Kaden said. He wanted to obey, to show Xander that this training thing was working and hopefully it would be over soon.

And this was Kaden’s world, and endless day of being trapped and restrained. Of being hurt by Xander and trying to please him. The outside world became a fuzzy memory, and soon Kaden was stuck in this training mentality. He supposed it was the point.

Kaden was a whore. He thought it at this point. Xander made him repeat these things so many times, it was natural. He was a worthless, stupid slut who should be thankful people like Xander fucked him instead of killing him like the scum of the earth he was. He should obey, and if he didn’t, he should be punished and thankful for being punished. Kaden thought these things even as he fantasized about escaping and still thought of them as lies. He believed them, but he didn’t think they were true. His mind was scrambled, and holding these two ideas as equally true no matter the contradictions had to be done. He had to be obedient or Xander would hurt him.

He was protecting himself. Xander’s punishments were often extremely cruel. Everything else was him trying to set a standard for what Kaden should expect and accept during sex. Punishments in comparison were meant to be more painful and more unusual.

They burned in his memory. Being burned, being whipped for hours, being tied down and waterboarded (thoughKaden didn’t know the name at the time) or forced to drink water until his stomach was bursting and then made to throw up. Xander would rape him after these tortures and make Kaden thank him, as with everything. These brought the worse nightmares and half-dreamed sensations and Kaden avoided them as much as possible.

Kaden was getting better at sex, or at least the messed up sex that was expected of him. The compliant passivity of allowing his throat to be bruised as he was face fucked, or letting Xander pound his ass with not enough lube and feeling it burn for days. He got better at blow jobs and hand jobs, but that was about it. Kaden knew his own pleasure was only a means to bring himself humiliation. For all he’d experienced of sex so far was that it was something people took from him and he wasn’t allowed to receive without being dirty and useless. Why this was, he didn’t question. Sex was a tool he used to give Xander a reason not to torture him.

He was fully engrossed in the training world. He obeyed like a dog, and thanked Xander for treating him like one. Kaden was responding to pain the way Xander wanted.

So one day Xander came into the room with no devices except a collar and some clothes.

Kaden had been left untied, and sat naked in the corner. Like a puppy, he crawled over to Xander on all fours and kneeled, eyes to the floor. “How does master wish to use me?”

Xander crouched and put the collar on Kaden. He grinned a sick, toothy smile. “Jeremiah’ll be proud. He’s going to be your master, now.”

Kaden forced himself to not look up. He didn’t want to be hit. “If my master says so, then I obey.”

“Good bitch,” Xander laughed, and stood up. “Stand up, slave.” He handed him a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. “Get dressed and follow me.”

And at long last, training was over.

 

Kaden kept his gaze glued to the ground. The clothes were chafing him a bit, after having gone without them for so long. He didn’t believe this would last, though.

Although he hadn’t been put right into the basement, the house was still unfamiliar to Kaden. Like the other house, it was too empty and old for comfort. Still, everything was interesting to Kaden. It was a lot of information to absorb after his brain went on auto-pilot from being bored in the room for so long. It was almost too much, and Kaden had to take deep breaths to calm himself. Training had taught him self-control to avoid being punished.  

And self-control was all Kaden really had.

They stopped in an unfamiliar room and Jerry approached.

“Kaden?”

Kaden immediately dropped to the ground and crawled over to Jerry, kneeling at his feet as he had done for Xander. He did it without thinking about it, how weird it might look. All that was crushed out of him. The behavior was automatic.

“How does master wish to use me?”

Jerry actually laughed and looked at Xander. “You actually fucking did it, didn’t you?”

“He was already a slut for obeying. Gets a hard-on every time a man tells him what a bitch he is, what a fucking whore,” Xander said.

Jerry laughed again and nudged Kaden with his toe. “Blow me.”

Kaden thoughtlessly got up on his knees and unzipped Jerry’s pants. He took Jerry’s dick in his hands and stroked along the shaft. Jerry shivered and Kaden started using his tongue along it, taking his time until he tasted precum on the tip.

“Jesus, fuck, Kaden...” Jerry moaned. He wrapped his fingers tightly in Kaden’s hair and yanked him closer to himself.

“Be rougher with him, he’s a slut for pain now,” Xander chuckled.

Jerry pushed Kaden to the floor and started fucking his face fast and rough. Kaden pushed away his panic and let his learned mind space allow the event to occur. His throat was being slammed into and there were hands in his hair almost pulling it out. He wanted to scream, but he laid silently still.

By the time Kaden started seeing stars from the lack of oxygen, Jerry pulled out came over Kaden’s face. Kaden shivered, and knelt back on the ground when Jerry released him.

“You look perfect with cum all over your face like the slut you are,” Jerry said.

“Thank you, master,” Kaden said automatically. He felt nothing.

  
  
  


When Luke woke up, the tattooed boy was sleeping on top of him and the guilt of the night before crashed down. He lay still and stared at the ceiling, trying to piece together what happened, or rather,  _ how _ it happened.

It didn’t make sense to Luke. He’d never felt attraction towards the same sex, and even now he didn’t find Kaden attractive. Not really. He felt towards Kaden the way people felt toward small animals, like he wanted to protect him. He wanted to keep him safe and hold him and feel his warmth and…

Luke blinked. Maybe he did feel something

He felt Stormy jump up on the couch. He looked up and her golden eyes stared at him, calculated and accusing. Maybe she was just a stupid cat looking for breakfast, but something in her gaze reflected Luke’s feelings perfectly.

It broke him, and started quietly crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, dunno


	7. Best Laid Plans

After a while, Kaden seemed to wake up and looked at Luke curiously. “What’s wrong?”

Luke moved to get up, and Kaden shuffled off of him. Even now, the kid still had the awkward movements of someone deeply afraid of others. 

“Last night was a mistake,” Luke said.

Kaden got wide-eyed. “I thought you liked it.”

“That doesn’t matter. I said I’d keep you safe! I...I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you for sex or something messed up like that...haven’t you been through enough?”

“I wanted to. I like you,” Kaden said.

“You didn’t come,” Luke said. “I don’t think you even.... Did you even like it?”

Kaden’s face got a bit red. “I...I can’t get….it doesn’t work from touching anymore.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Luke asked almost to himself.

Kaden stared forwards. “I...It’s sick...I’m a slut, I...I get turned on from pain a-and I can’t help it...I like it, I deserve it….”

“Kaden?” Luke's voice wavered.

“I don’t need it though...I’m happy just with you...being useful...I like you...”

It was frightening, the way Kaden got a far off look as he mumbled fragments of sentences. Luke’s gaze darted between his eyes, trying to figure out what was going on in his brain.

Taking a deep breath, Luke said sternly, “Stop. I...I don’t know how much of that’s true and how much of it’s in your own head but...Don’t come on to me, okay? I don’t want to do those things with you, not because I don’t like you. I do like you Kaden,” he emphasized. “But this is not a good situation to start...trying to do stuff like that, okay?” He had no plans to ever pursue a relationship with this boy, but Luke was trying his best to not make Kaden feel rejected or worthless. A small voice asked him why he was even bothering.

This was an uphill battle that he was losing. Luke couldn’t do this, he wasn’t a doctor or a psychologist or anything like that. What if he was just making everything worse? What if everything he thought was helping was the opposite of what he should be doing? What if bringing him to the doctor or the police was what he should’ve done, and by keeping him here he was only making Kaden worse?

He took a breath and continued, “You’ve obviously been through a lot, and you’re still carrying it with you. I don’t think it’s healthy for you to be in a relationship until you’ve sorted it all out. I don’t want to be another person that’s abused you, Kaden. Okay?”

Kaden nodded silently.

“Can we just forget it happened?” Luke asked.

Kaden suddenly went pale. “Y-yeah. I-I’m sorry...”

Just then, before Luke could figure out what freaked him out  _ this time _ , a knock sounded on the door. Luke got up. “Must be Steve.”

Still on the couch, Kaden hugged his knees to his chest.

Luke thought a moment, and coaxed Stormy towards the boy, who immediately grabbed her and started petting her. The cat meowed in slight annoyance.

“S-sorry,” Kaden said.

Luke chuckled, hoping all the awkwardness was behind them. He already felt sweat on his neck, just thinking about the ramifications of last night. If he could erase the memory, he would. “Guess you’re apprehensive?”

“Slightly,” Kaden said, stroking the cat. Stormy’s tail lashed a bit, but she settled down and allowed herself to be petted. “H-he’s safe, you said...”

“He’s a good man. He...he does investigative journalism, he’s pretty good at it...” Luke said vaguely, and got the door.

  
  
  


That night, Kaden wasn’t surprised that Jerry raped him and was more rough with him than ever, but sex with Jerry was gentle compared to what Xander did to him. Kaden didn’t have to fake his enthusiasm so much as a result.

Jerry let him sleep on his bed and only touched him a bit during the night gently. The days afterwards he let Kaden wear clothes and eat meals with him without any catches. Of course he still had to let Jerry use him whenever he wanted, which was fairly frequently as Jerry didn’t leave much and worked from home, but a return to regular meals was a dream to Kaden.

He could almost call what he had for Jerry affection. He was thankful that the nightmare of training was over, and obeyed Jerry like a dog. Although Jerry was still rough with him and very condescending, training had taught him to feel like he deserved no better. He was a whore and a murderer.

So it was a few months before Kaden snapped out of it and started to consider escaping. It was late fall by this point, and Kaden knew he wouldn’t be going back to school. Being a slave didn’t give him many chances to ask questions, but eventually Jerry explained that he pulled him out of school and Kaden was being homeschooled now. His mother’s family lived halfway across the country, so he was isolated completely from the world.

Jerry didn’t let him watch TV, use the internet, or go outside much. Even after Kaden’s complete obedience and the months of training to back it, Kaden supposed he still was a bit paranoid. After all, Kaden had been willing to kill him once. Jerry never let him roam the house unsupervised and either left him locked in a room or tied up when he couldn’t watch over him. At night, when he wasn’t sleeping in Jerry’s room, his own room locked from the outside with a bolt.

But the window wasn’t locked.

Kaden took his time. His mind was still fuzzy and he had trouble thinking sometimes. Not to mention that despite not seeing Xander once since training, he was still a bit convinced Xander would catch him and punish him for trying to escape. So he had to succeed on the first try.

His plan was to tie all of his bedsheets together and climb his way down from the window. It was a three story drop, so he couldn’t just jump. He doubted the sheets would reach all the way, but even if he could halve his fall, he might be able to limp away. This was the hardest part, because assembling the rope would take time and if Jerry barged in on him, it’d be over. Kaden’s window was also above the kitchen window, so he couldn’t do it during anytime Jerry was awake. He also couldn’t wait for Jerry to leave, because Jerry usually tied his wrists together before he left Kaden alone in the house. But if he could pull it off, his best bet was one of the nights Kaden was left to sleep in his room and he’d just have to pray Jerry didn’t check on him.

After that, he’d have to make it down the long, dirt road he remembered being driven down when they moved here. In memory, it was at least five minutes by car (probably an hour on foot) to the nearest store and the road was surrounded by dense forest.

It’d be best to walk in the undergrowth if he could, in case Jerry found out he’s gone and came driving down the road to find him. It’d probably be the dead of night anyways, and Kaden could easily get hit walking down the road. The forest has its own dangers though, namely animals that might attack him. 

Once he got down the road, he’d hide around the store he remembered seeing. He  thought it was a gas station or a convenience store, but he couldn’t quite remember. He didn’t think it was the sort to be open 24/7 though, so he’d have to wait until it opened. Then, he’d ask the employees for help and then...well, he wasn’t sure what he’d do.

Ideally, he’d convince them to give him some money and a ride to the bus station. He’d lie and say he ran away from home and wanted to go back or something. Kaden didn’t want to get the police involved. He’d go to jail for murdering his mother, surely.

No, he could be content starting a new life as a homeless teen. He’d move to the city. He’d work at a fast food restaurant and keep his head down. He was 13 now, and thought he could make it. Kaden knew he would never get his old life back. He’d never go to highschool or see his old friends, and that was his punishment for his terrible deed. He could live with it.

But being a slave...he couldn’t. He felt like he was losing his humanity here, like a toy. He was afraid of Jerry bringing men like Xander over to fuck him. Maybe if it was just Jerry and he knew Jerry wouldn’t get any crueler...maybe then he could ride it out. But Kaden was deeply afraid of being killed and was tired of having to act so mindless. Even with all of his training, he still longed to join the outside world again. It was barely real to him anymore, but the desire made it real enough.

The other escape plan was simpler but less ideal. All the knives in the kitchen were sealed away, but there were a pair of safety scissors Kaden could access. It would be incredibly difficult and painful to cut up his wrists with the dull blades, but if he could do that, escape by death was always an option.

Kaden wondered how long this would have to go on before it sounded like a good idea.

  
  


When Steve introduced himself to Kaden, the boy didn’t really have much to say, but was polite enough, Luke supposed. He seemed fairly apprehensive, and kept a hold on Stormy much longer than the feline clearly was comfortable tolerating. If it had been a more light-hearted situation, it might’ve been amusing. 

Steve was undeterred. An investigator at heart, the man had a gift for making people talk and a low tolerance for bullshit. He asked Kaden, “So my buddy Luke tells me he found you on the street?”

Kaden nodded, staring at Stormy. “Y-yes, sir.”

Luke frowned a bit at that. Again with the calling everyone “sir”. 

“How’d you end up there?”

Kaden shook his head. “I...I’m sorry sir.”

“Boy, don’t play cagey, alright? It’s not going to help you,” Steve said.

“I-it’s disgusting,” Kaden mumbled. “It’s not a happy story.”

“Do I look like I came here for a happy story, boy? Tell me.” Steve said. “Explain. Elaborate.”

“I...I was...” Kaden gulped. “It was to survive, you know? I...I let him find me p-people to sleep with so I wouldn’t starve, but...but I fucked up...one of the people stole from him, he thought I helped….I didn’t mean, I didn’t….he gave me to someone….I think he was supposed to kill me or punish me, but...but Luke saved me...I...I...”

Silence filled the room, and Luke gave Steve a look crossed between shock and outrage. But Steve kept his cool. He looked again at Kaden.

“Where are your parents?”

“I never knew my father. And my mother’s….dead. I...I killed her,” he said. “I’m a murderer.”

Luke wanted to ask him so many things, but Steve continued.

“Before you ended up with the man who was giving you to people to sleep with, did you live with her?”

“Not right before….she died five years ago...”

“Who did you live with before the man then?”

Kaden shook his head. “I was owned by someone else.”

“How many? How many people kept you then? In all?”

“F-five?” Kaden said after a moment of silence.

“That’s...that’s sick...” Luke couldn’t help himself.

“Was one of them Jerry Thompson?”

Luke’s eyes widened. “H-how…? Y-you’re with them! Y-you...pl-please s-sir! Pl-please d-don’t, I-I’m s-sorry! I-”

Steve shook his head. “Kaden, I’m not with these monsters. I’m just good at job. Luke gave me your name, Kaden Leach, right?”

Kaden nodded.

“You know you’re supposed to be dead, right? You got a death certificate and everything. I even found your gravestone, it ain’t far from where your mother’s buried.”

Luke felt ice go down his spine. “What?”

Steve kept going. “This Thompson guy, he married your mom. After she died, you guys moved to a different state. And two years later, you died in a freak car accident. What happened?”

Kaden shook his head. “Stop, please...stop!”

“Kaden, I want to help you. I want to know!”

“No you don’t!” Kaden suddenly screamed, making the whole room jump. Stormy sprang out of his lap and under the couch.

Kaden stood up and took off his shirt and pointed to his chest, the tattoo that said RAPE ME. “This is what happened! Everything you need to know is fucking marked on my skin so I’ll never forget! I’m a fucking whore, alright? Is that what you wanted to know? That I’ve been having sex all this time?!” Suddenly, Kaden broke and started crying. He hobbled to the bathroom, (his ankle wasn’t quite healed yet) and shut the door.

Steve looked a bit stunned. Luke had never seen him fall into silence before.

“You okay?” Luke asked.

“Jesus fuck,” Steve shook his head. “The rabbit hole gets deeper and deeper with this one.”

“What did you find out on him?” Luke asked.

Steve sighed. “Besides what I’ve already said? Not much. Kid went off the grid after his death. It looked legitimate.”

“What about that Thompson person?” Luke asked.

“He’s a millionaire. Owns a manufacturing plant chain in the southwest,” Steve said. “Has no criminal history besides a minor DUI charge from decades ago. He’s remarried now, has a wife and daughter. Everything seems to check out with him.”

“You think he started this, though.”

“I can’t say I’m not suspicious. The only question would be, why’d he fake his death and let him go?”

Luke shrugged. “Kaden probably knows, but I doubt he wants to talk about it.”

Steve sighed. “I won’t push him. But there’s one thing I can look into that I’ve noticed.”

“Hm?”

“That tattoo on his back, when he turned around, the uh, XANDER’S...uh one...There was a tattoo shop downtown called ‘Westside Tattoos’. My ex got a piercing there like four years ago, and said she met a really good tattoo artist named Xander. Almost convinced me to go get a tattoo, she thought it’d be sexy,” he laughed. “Anyways, maybe there could be a connection.”

“If there is, it’d be a big coincidence that you happened to find it,” Luke said. “How do you even run into things like that?”

“You’d have a ton of connections too if you could remember anything,” Steve said, tapping his head. “That’s the difference, is that I am constantly looking and remembering.”

“Well, if you find anything, let me know,” Luke said. “Sorry to drag you into this.”

“It’s fine,” Steve said. “I’d like to find out what going on myself.”

“I have a feeling it’s only going to get deeper,” Luke said.

Steve gave a strained smile. “There’s only one way to find out. You can’t fix a problem without getting to the root.”

  
  


The night he finally gained the courage to do it was nothing special, except Jerry had been drinking a lot, so Kaden thought it might give him the edge he needed. As soon as he was locked in his room, he threw all the blankets off of his bed and started working.

His hands trembled and he paused at every creak and thump outside of his door. His mind raced, convincing him that Jerry was coming back and was gonna beat the ever-loving snot out of him. He was dead, he was so dead.

But once it was completed, the hard part began. He tied it to the bedframe and wiped sweat off of his brow. Slowly, he opened the window from, wincing at the creaking. The air outside was bitingly cold, and he shivered in his thin pajamas. Tonight would be miserable whether he pulled this off or not.

Testing the rope, Kaden threw it out the window and gripped it hard. He was shaking a bit. Slowly, he put his leg over the window sill and into the freezing air.

Suddenly, he heard a thud outside. His heart stopped.

Another thud.

Kaden’s mind raced. Should he abort and beg for forgiveness? Should he keep going and hope to outrun him?

The door rattled. Kaden didn’t think twice.

He jumped out the window, his grasp on the rope barely slowing his decent enough and leaving burns on his hands. Luckily, when he landed, he felt no more than bruised on his back, and his training had taught him enough about pain that this was barely a hinderance.

Wildly, he ran off towards the road and the forest, barely being able to see a thing.

His heart leap in pure joy and he almost screamed out. He was sprinting now, suddenly filled with adrenaline and he let himself enjoy it.

He was free! Finally, he’d never have to let anyone touch him again, or call someone master and give thanks for being raped. He felt so happy he barely slowed and didn’t notice the cold. The running and the sweating helped too. He had no shoes, though, and rocks and branches stung them, though he hardly noticed until later.

Soon he was very far down the road, and he slowed. He tried to calm himself, knowing that he wasn’t out of the woods yet, figuratively and literally. If he was careful, he could pull this off.

In the dark cold, he tried to ignore the painfulness of walking barefoot in the woods. He hoped he wouldn’t accidentally step on a snake or something, and allowed himself to make noise as he walked, hopefully to scare them off. He did feel a rodent brush against him at some point and nearly lept out of his skin.

Suddenly, he noticed a car coming down the road and stumbled deeper into the undergrowth. He saw the trademarked blue and red lights of the police car slowly cruising down the road, and he felt a twinge of fear and hope.

Should he ask for help? He’d go to jail if they knew…

But suddenly Kaden didn’t care. Jerry might still find him, and as far as he knew, trying to live on his own might’ve been a fantasy from the start. It was a blessing he’d made it this far, and life in prison was something he could settle for as long as his current nightmare was ended.

So he ran towards the road and waved wildly at the car. “Help! Help!”

The car slowed and stopped.

Kaden ran to the window. “Please, officer, help! My step-father’s been raping me and torturing me! I ran away, but he’s looking for me now!”

The officer didn’t question him. “Get in the back, kid. I’ll bring you to the station and we’ll sort this out.”

“Thank you, sir!” Kaden said.

He got in and the officer turned to him. “You hurt? Should I bring you to the hospital first?”

“Maybe, I hurt my feet on the road and he’s been beating me,” Kaden admitted.

So the car started up and drove down the long, windy road. Kaden sighed and leaned against the seat, thankful it was finally over.

  
  


Before Steve left, Kaden slunk out of the bathroom. He didn’t make eye contact.

“I’m sorry I blew up at you, you’re just trying to help,” he said to Steve. “It’s...it’s just really difficult for me to talk about somethings, and I can’t...I don’t think I can yet.”

Steve nodded, Luke guessed he was playing nice and letting Kaden off the hook since he got the lead on the tattoos. Not that Steve wasn’t a nice guy, but Luke knew if he was truly after information, he could get ruthless. Luke sort of admired that in Steve, the way he dug up the truth regardless of the consequences. The truth was important, and being able to go after it unhindered...Luke thought it was brave.

“It’s fine, Kaden. I pushed you, you pushed back. It’s par for the course. You focus on getting better, okay? Next time I see you, I don’t want you to still be limping,” he joked.

Kaden nodded solemnly. 

After Steve left, Luke noticed the boy seemed to have regressed a bit. He sat on the couch and petted the cat, but whatever life he had regained over the last few days was gone.

He sighed. Sitting down next to him and telling him not to feel bad and it wasn’t his fault was Luke’s instinct, but something made him second guess it. He didn’t know if coddling him was really the best idea. Kaden seemed to be made of glass, as far as social interactions went, but encouraging it would only make it worse. Yes, Kaden needed to feel safe and wanted, but at the same time, he needed to realize he shouldn’t need Luke’s permission to feel that way. He needed to learn to rely on himself, or he’d be trapped depending on Luke, which was neither healthy or what Luke really wanted. 

So he said, “Hey, I was going to go get some burgers or something for lunch. Want to come with me?”

Kaden looked a bit surprised. “W-where are we going?”

“Just to the drive-thru and back. Wasn’t planning on leaving the car. Just thought you might want to get out of the apartment for a bit, you’ve been practically living on the couch the last few days.”

He was silent a moment, then nodded and got up. He was still wearing borrowed clothes from Luke that were a bit too baggy, but nothing ridiculous. Luke figured he was fine, considering they’d stay in the car.

So Luke grabbed his keys and they were off.

  
  


He stared at the darkness outside the window for some time, until enough time had passed for him to gain the courage to ask, “Uh, h-how much further?”

“Not much,” the officer said, but Kaden felt like something was wrong. It felt like they were going in circles.

Suddenly, they pulled up at a house. Kaden was confused.

“Where are we?”

“Don’t recognize it?” the officer asked.

Kaden shook his head.

“Your Jerry Thompson’s kid, right?”

Suddenly Kaden felt ice in his blood. He immediately went for the door, but the officer was already at his wrist. 

“Please! Don’t! I’ll do anything! Don’t give me back to him! I’ll die!” Kaden begged and started sobbing.

The officer then got out of the car. Before Kaden could escape, the officer pulled him out of the backseat and marched him to the house. He knocked on the door and Jerry answered.

“Found something of yours, Mr. Thompson.”

“Thanks Marley,” Jerry said, and handed him some cash. He yanked Kaden by the neck and threw him to the floor. “You want a go at him? You brought him back.”

“No thanks,” the officer said. “I prefer women.”

Kaden started sobbing as Jerry thanked the officer again and shut the door.

Wordlessly, Jerry pounded into him with kicks and punches. Kaden apologized until he couldn’t speak. “You are going to wish you were never born,” Jerry said, and dragged him to the basement. 

If Kaden was able to move, he’d have fought tooth and nail against being thrown back into the training room, but he couldn’t and was left on the ground to bleed.

It must’ve been some time later before Jerry returned. He blindfolded Kaden and put a rope around his neck. Kaden was made to be on his hands and knees. A metal bar was used to spread his legs apart and a metal gag forced his mouth open (Kaden thought it was a gag at least, it felt like two metal claws were pulling at the corners of his mouth) . Kaden was disoriented and so afraid.

He was having trouble thinking again, what had gone wrong...Escaping was a stupid idea, he should’ve guessed! Stupid, stupid whore! Stupid idiot! He shouldn't have run up to that police car! He should've stuck to the plan! That's what went wrong last time too!

Despair filled him. Just an hour ago he had been free and now he would never be free again. If he survived this, he promised himself he’d never run away again. He’d be good, he’d behave. Just please, he didn’t know what was going to happen or what fate he was begging to avoid, but he felt desperate fear churning inside of him. So he made promises to himself, to Jerry, to God, he wasn’t sure.

For once in a long while, Kaden couldn’t control himself at all. Every breath was dizzying and nearing hyperventilation, he thought he might be having a heart attack, it was beating so fast. Memories of Xander's punishments made him shake uncontrollably.

Kaden sobbed wordlessly and couldn’t stop.


	8. Karma

Kaden lost sense of time again. The foggy brainless-ness of train was coming back with the dim flickering light and the damp smell of the training room. Hours, maybe an entire day might’ve passed. 

Long since, he lost feeling in his arms. The rope around his neck made it impossible to compromise his all-fours position without strangling himself. He had to periodically choke himself to give his arms a break, but it wasn’t enough. He was shaking with dread and deep tiredness.

At some point his brain shut off. The internal begging for mercy stopped.

All that was left was survival.

Finally five men entered the room. Kaden was no longer scared but relieved that the boredom was over. 

Jerry yanked the rope to choke him and snarled, “Stupid bitch forgot its place again.”

Kaden recognized John’s voice with a chill. John clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “How bad do you want us to fuck him up?”

“I want him to wish he were dead,” Jerry said with enough poison that Kaden flinched.

Xander grinned. Kaden couldn’t look at him.

Anyone but him!

“Let me carve him up a bit.” Xander said.

“Yes,” Jerry said. After we’ve gone a bit.”

Kaden didn’t recognize the other two men at all, but the way they looked at him made him fearful.

John went first. He groped him for a bit, pinching and digging his nails into Kaden’s wounds, making them bleed. Fresh pain brought tears, and he tried to stop resisting and just let it happen. John thrusted himself into Kaden’s throat and started fucking him as hard as he could, it felt. 

But behind him, he felt Xander’s rough hands clawing into him and he entered and started thrusting as well, harder than he ever had before it seemed. Xander laughed.

Kaden screwed his eyes shut. He felt like he was being torn apart between the two of them. 

For what seemed like hours, the five of them took turns fucking him. Xander brought torture devices, some familiar, some not. He poured hot wax down his back. He made his nipples bleed with the clamps. He put a device that made getting an erection painful. After everyone had fucked him, they took turns whipping and hitting him until he collasped. 

Then they choked him unconscious and he woke on his back to being facefucked by one of the strangers. When they wanted to take a break, they tied him back up and shoved a vibrator up his ass on the highest setting. He laid on the floor writhing and shaking.

Kaden’s mind was gone. Every torture had broken whatever was left in him. His mind was beyond the weird animal-slave mind that got him past training. 

Nothing registered anymore.

Everything was on fire.

They came back and fucked him again. 

They touched him and hurt him and used him. They called him everything. 

But Kaden was gone.

They brought him outside and threw him into the mud and taunted him. “Run away! Escape! Now’s your chance!”

He stared at the gray sky. It was bright, almost white. There was ringing in his ears. Everything looked fuzzy. What temperature had it been that day? What had the strangers looked like? What exactly happened to him after they tied him to the deck post?

Everything was on fire. Kaden was gone. 

The memories were lost. Not forgotten, but when Kaden would tentatively look back later, it was if they had never been recorded. As if whatever had happened before was already too much, that it stopped processing anything.

Maybe it was a good thing.

Night fell. He was back in the training room. Hands were holding him down. He lashed uncontrollably. Xander was cutting into his leg, deep.

Kaden knew he was fucked again when he passed out the third time. He faintly recalled being thrown into the corner and pissed on.

The next morning came immediately, Kaden didn’t remember sleeping. Jerry hosed him off and carried him upstairs. His room was different. The window was boarded up.

Jerry put him on the bed gently, but it didn’t matter. Kaden was still on fire. He stared blankly.

As if nothing had happened, Jerry smiled at him and told him to be good. He tied his hands to the bedframe and left the bedroom.

Kaden writhed, not back yet. Carved on his right leg was, “MURDERER”.

  
  


Luke smiled nervously. Kaden seemed a bit nervous in the passenger's seat and picked at the long sleeves on his sweatshirt. 

They had gotten burgers through the drive-through and Luke suddenly had the idea to drive up town a bit and park by a view overlooking the city. Kaden seemed to benefit a bit from the fresh air, and after gulping down his meal, he tentatively got out of the car with Luke and looked down the hill.

“This is the whole city?” Kaden asked.

“Yeah,” Luke said. “Neat, right?”

Kaden stared a bit. 

“Each of those little lights in the buildings, that’s a person. That’s a story. I wonder...The world’s a big place,” Luke ended awkwardly, not sure where he was going.

Kaden smiled. “I bet they’re all interesting stories too. You couldn’t ever know all of them, though.”

“I wish I could at least know yours,” Luke said.

Kaden frowned and went silent.

“I didn’t mean-”

“”I-I get it. I’m...I don’t want you to hate me,” Kaden said weakly.

“I don’t,” Luke said tiredly. “What do I have to do to prove it to you, Kaden? I know you have trust issues, you more than earned them, but I’m getting tired of it.”

Kaden blinked. “But I do trust you. ”

Luke was a little shocked. “You do?”

“Yeah,” he said. He looked at the sky. “Looks like rain.”

It was gray, almost white, but dark clouds were on the horizon.

Luke yawned. “We better get back then.”

They got into the car, and Luke sighed. “When do you think you’ll tell me it? Your story?”

Kaden stared for a while. “When I figure out what it even is. I...I can’t put it together well anymore.”

Luke conceded. “Okay.”

 

Later that night, Kaden fell asleep on Luke’s lap again during a movie. Luke wanted to move him, to avoid a repeat of the night prior, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He stroked the kid’s hair gently instead.

In his sleep, Kaden grabbed at Luke’s thigh. Suddenly Luke felt a twitch and to his horror he was getting hard. He tried to will it away, but then Kaden’s head brushed against it.

Kaden sleepily woke up and stared.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Luke said automatically. He felt ashamed.

“I...I can take care of it, if you want,” Kaden offered, licking his lips nervously.

Luke shook his head slightly.

“I trust you,” Kaden pleaded. “Let me, please.”

Maybe it was something in his voice, but Luke stopped arguing.

He let Kaden take him  in his mouth again, and again he got a bit carried away with grabbing his hair and pushing himself deeper. Kaden seemed to encourage it, letting out soft moans at these actions, despite his slight shaking.

After Luke came they fell asleep after making out for god knows how long. Once again, Luke fell asleep with a guilt laden pit in his stomach. He stared at the ceiling and cursed himself. He had no excuses this time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry long time no posts, but i will keep updating this even if it's been a while. this one's short too, but at least it's something


	9. Out of Hand

Somehow, Kaden pulled himself back in the days after. It was a slow, painful process, like pulling teeth. He didn’t know who he was anymore, or what the world was anymore. It was as if his brief taste of freedom knocked him further away from the outside world rather than getting him closer to rejoining it.

Escape wasn’t on his mind. Hardly anything was. Thinking was harder. The rules from training etched into his brain and forced himself to repeat the lies that kept him alive over and over. Everything burned him, and there wasn’t much to distract him from the dull, sweat-covered dread that drenched him.

He tried to think about his life before this, but it made his head pound more than it already was. Desperately, as if the memories were fizzling out like burning photographs, he searched for anything that made sense. He remembered his mother. He remembered school and his old friends. It must have been so easy back then, how could he had ever been sad? If only he had known back then how fucked up everything would get.

How had this even happened? What had he done...did he do something to trigger this in Jerry? It never felt like he had, and the longer he stayed in this fucked-up version of the world he thought he knew, the more it felt beyond himself and Jerry. Like this ring of men had existed and will exist long before and after him. Kaden was only a bolt in this machine.

It was starting to come back to him, what had happened after that police officer brought him home. He was still shell shocked about the whole thing. Had Jerry sent the officer? Had he known Kaden would trust him?

He knew what was going to happen when he brought Kaden back. Kaden felt rage build in his stomach at that realization. Jerry had even offered him a go.

The punishment...what had happened...Kaden clumsily put the pieces together. He started remembering things that had previously been smears in his memory, but some things never came back. Everything had been so overwhelming and painful. 

The Kaden that was so far gone he barely screamed was being usurped. Survival was assured, and now the old Kaden could hobble back and try and pick up the pieces. It was hard. He cried and shook and felt so tired he just wanted to die.

Kaden couldn’t move. He laid on his back on the bed and stared at the blurry ceiling through his tears. The fire was back and it burnt everything on him. Even things that normally didn’t hurt from abuse did. The flames engulfed him to the bone.

He fell in and out of consciousness. Jerry saw him often, but he didn’t touch him much. He was a blur beside him that checked his fever and stroked his hair.

Kaden closed his eyes and whimpered at the contact like a puppy. Desperately, he wanted Jerry to like him again. He would put up with the abuse, everything, he felt so worthless and humiliated. The way they weren’t content treating him like a bug, but that they wanted him to _ feel _ like one too...The hate in his heart kept rising, but he pushed it back on himself. This was his fault for trying to escape. It was his fault his mother was dead. If he had just fucking accepted his place like a good whore, he’d be in school now. 

He’d only be a slave a few hours a week, a few hours on Thursday, instead of the constant unending nightmare that was the life he earned. 

It could always be worse though, he told himself. He knew that well enough now. 

  
  
  


The first time had been a mistake. It was clearly justifiable to Luke too. He had said no, and even if Kaden wasn’t in his right mind, it didn’t give him the right to ignore Luke’s consent, right? So the first time, Luke hadn’t done anything wrong. Not really. 

The kissing afterward, well Luke had consented to it, yes, but that didn’t count, did it? It wasn’t, he wasn’t touching him or anything. Not much anyway.

But the second time, Luke didn’t...he was going to say no. He should’ve. He didn’t though. The night repeated itself.

Luke hardly slept with Kaden tangled on him. Everything about this situation was a mistake. He wished he had never brought the kid back. He wished he had called the police right away and ignored Kaden’s nonsensical fears, before he had dug this hole and incriminated himself. He wished he had never walked home that night and just fucking drove like he should’ve.

It was early morning when he pushed these things to the back of his mind and got up, very carefully as to not disturb Kaden. He checked his phone and found a text from Steve, saying he found this Xander-guy tattoo-artist. Tracked him down through meticulous web-searching, and Steven seemed a bit smug. He invited Luke to come along to check the guy out, see what they could find.

Luke agreed, and left a note by Kaden explaining he had errands to run and would be back eventually. He contemplated leaving his number in case of emergency, but Luke had no landline and he figured Kaden would be too afraid to seek out someone to borrow a phone from. It would probably be fine anyways. Unless he somehow set the apartment on fire, he doubted anything would come up.

Setting down the note, Luke glanced at Kaden again. His injuries were fading, and his ankle was no longer swollen. He still walked funny, though, he noticed yesterday. When he looked carefully, though, he noticed his right leg was a tad kinked. It must’ve broke and never healed right, he supposed. He didn’t ask though, knowing by now he’d get no answer. 

So Luke left quietly and drove to Steve’s apartment.

  
  


Jerry made Kaden walk around less than a week. By then, the constant fire embedded in in his muscles was dulled by a restricted supply of painkillers. Kaden supposed Jerry wanted his sex toy back, and while he certainly hadn’t avoided using Kaden once the first few days had passed, even he knew Kaden wasn’t able to put much effort in if he was riddled with pain.

Things did not go back to the way they were, but a new routine was established. Kaden was already restricted in the things he could do, but whatever little freedoms he took for granted were gone. If he was left alone, he was tied to something with a metal chain. Jerry made him do menial labor during the day, nonsense tasks like digging holes and filling them up while chained to a tree by a collar, or more substantial work in the house cleaning. Kaden wasn’t allowed to touch food unless it was his to eat, especially if it was Jerry’s. He guessed poisoning was still a concern.

Kaden’s room was now off limits unless he was particularly injured. Now he slept in the doorless shed outside. It was in the backyard, nobody from the road could see, though hardly anyone drove down here and there were numerous trees blocking the view anyways.

The shed was empty and had holes in the roof. The floor was dirt and the wall facing the house was 75% doorless square hole. At night, Kaden would be thrown in here and his hands cuffed behind his back as well as his ankles together. For extra measure, Jerry secured a tight metal collar around his neck and attached it to a metal chain linked to the back wall. It was probably overkill, but Kaden knew it wasn’t the point. The point was to make him feel how futile even think about escape would be.

And it worked. Kaden crushed his fantasies of getting out now. His spirit was dead, and he stared at the ground with hollow eyes. 

When winter came, Kaden froze outside. Snow flurries blew in, and the metal burned to the touch. Eventually Jerry put a temporary door on the shed, probably to prevent Kaden from getting sick and gross than a desire to make him comfortable.

It was bearable, but only barely.

Sleeping outside was a punishment, but it did offer some variety at least. Kaden started being able to pick out the different bird calls, and although he had no name for them, he could recognize them. He didn’t know the names of the birds when he saw them, but he matched them to their calls and learned them by that. Early, at dawn, if he was feeling brave, he’d roll and scoot himself to the edge of the shed and poke his head around the side and watch the forest. He’d lie there until the sky turned blue. Then he’d struggle back inside before Jerry came to let him back into the house.

Sometimes he saw deer out there, or a bunny. The only thing that approached the shed was birds, though, and the odd chipmunk. Kaden wished he could ask Jerry for some bird seed, but he was too afraid that what he was already doing was wrong. If birdwatching was, it was nothing Kaden had been explicitly forbidden from doing. But it was something Kaden enjoyed, and he knew enough to know he wasn’t allowed to be happy. He was afraid it’d be corrupted and twisted the way getting off had. Even if he wanted to masterbate, he couldn’t get hard without pain or insults. Kaden was so afraid of this being corrupted too somehow.

It was these small things that became so precious to him. Listening to fucking birds and staring at the forest. If he was too injured to sleep outside, he’d miss them and feel bad. He wondered how he could have been reduced to this pathetic of a state, but he held onto them still. 

It was also when Jerry showed him the slightest bit of affection, he lapped it up like a dog. On some level, he knew it was disgusting. He really did, but he couldn’t help it. He felt so far removed from human now, he needed it. If Jerry was happy, he didn’t invite his friends over. If Kaden was useful, he wasn’t hurt and he could at least feel a little better about himself. It was a mix of constant self-hate and fear that was hard to pin down, but all Kaden knew it as was survival.

And Kaden was getting a lot better at making Jerry happy. He’d get panicked if Jerry didn’t initiate anything for hours into the day, and he started offering without being forced. Maybe that was Jerry’s plan, to get him to beg to be fucked just to humiliate him even further, to take him down another level, but Kaden didn’t care. He was afraid and felt guilty constantly. Everything was his fault, he deserved it. He had to make up for all he’d done.

Kaden took things as far as he could, he invited harm onto himself because he knew Jerry would hurt him anyways. Maybe Kaden wanted to pretend he could control it, even a little, but the logic escaped him. It felt like he needed to do these things to keep him calm.

So he’d go up to Jerry and kiss him and start touching him. Kissing was good. He actually enjoyed it now. He’d ask Jerry to choke him during sex even though he hated it so much. It always felt like Jerry was trying to kill him. In general, pain was still hard for him to fake enjoyment for, but he really really tried. That seemed good enough for Jerry. And after sex, he’d be gentle. He’d pet him and talk to him condescendingly, but it’d be positive words for the most part. And Kaden would feel used, but confusingly proud that he’d been useful.

But sometimes Jerry couldn’t be coaxed into a good mood. At those times, Kaden knew playing the silent, cowering victim was a better move. He’d invite his friends over and they’d use Kaden in whatever awful ways they wanted.

Xander was a rare guest, but Kaden probably hated him the most. He’d always be tortured and humiliated terribly, and the nights following he’d need time to recover. He guessed maybe that’s why he wasn’t a common customer, since he incapacitated Kaden every session, but it boiled his blood that he wasn’t blacklisted entirely.

John was a regular, and while he was sadistic, he never put Kaden out bad enough that he needed to rest or recover. The other men were mostly like him. Some Kaden would only see once and some he’d recognize but never learn their names. Only their habits, which Kaden tried to remember and adapt to. If they wanted to beat him, he’d give them an excuse to. If they liked it when he cried, he would. If they wanted him to be enthusiastic and beg to be fucked, he’d do his best.

Kaden was losing himself, he barely knew what he wanted anymore. But more importantly, it didn’t feel like it mattered, not even to him. Nothing felt real, least of all himself.

Was this what being fake meant? he wondered. He remembered faintly at school, people being called fake or posers. Back then, he hadn’t really grasped why anyone would want to be that way. Now, he truly felt fake, and he realized something. Being fake wasn’t easy, but it made things easier. It was chipping away at his soul, but at least he was alive.

Acting the part of whatever his assailants wanted, it was getting easier. Kaden lost all sense of time except going by the seasons. By the time a year had past, he felt like he had aged a decade. Doing what he was told was second nature, and being fake was a skill he had honed well.

Kaden wasn’t stupid, but he felt like he was losing his ability to think for himself. Sometimes he tried to read the few magazines or newspapers Jerry left lying around, and it felt difficult. Math was difficult too. Kaden used to get straight As in math without even trying, but now trying to add things in his head felt like a challenge. He had trouble concentrating on anything but acting the way he was supposed to. Sometimes he caught himself defeated, and wondering if it really mattered if he could think for himself anyways. He was a living fuck toy, that’s all he was good for and all he’d ever be.

Kaden wondered if it would be like this forever. What would happened when he grew up? He was 14 now and he wondered if Jerry would lose interest in him. The thought made him feel bad and used, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe Jerry would finally let him go.

The real world was becoming a distant memory. Kaden hadn’t left the house since his brief escape, and something told him he wouldn’t know how to act out there anymore. He remembered it, but it felt dreamlike. The world of training and this house gave him habits he knew would come across as weird. Addressing everyone as sir. Not making eye contact unless asked. Not speaking unless asked. Crawling. Begging....All things that he had to make automatic.

Could he even function there anymore? Or would he rather just stay here where he didn’t have to think much and let people use him and tell him how to act?

It was times like those that Kaden tried not to think.

  
  


It was about 4 o’clock. They had spent the earlier part of the day catching Luke up on some of the intel Steve gathered, and general catching up as well. Since he took in Kaden, he’d only seen Steve once.

Luke was apprehensive about confronting this Xander-guy. While he drove, Steve assured him they’d only be checking out the parlor and that’s it. They weren’t going to ask him point blank if he aided and abetted a kidnapping. Instead, they were going to pretend to be pricing tattoo’s. Steve even brought a print of some eagle designs to show what he was thinking of, to look extra legit.

The parlor was a small shop on the poorer of the city, called, “Westside Tattoos” with a fierce cobra serving as the logo. The building was brick and a bit rundown, and neon signs burned in the windows. It was a bit dirty looking, and a wall facing the parking lot was tagged in graffiti. Only a few cars were parked. 

Before they got out, Steve said, “I looked this place up, this Xander guy is the main artist here. He’s got lots of good reviews, and he seems like a nice guy.”

“You sure he’s involved in this, then?” Luke asked. “It could be another Xander altogether.”

Steve shrugged. “There’s no harm in looking. I want to see if this guy’s original designs match that kid’s tattoos. Online, I couldn’t tell which designs were his, but some of them looked reminiscent. You’ll have to help me, you’ve been looking at him more than me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Luke said, suddenly defensive.

It didn’t register with Steve. “He’s living in your apartment, not mine. You do look at him now and again, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Luke tried to stop overreacting. What would Steve think if he knew…

They entered and the smell reminded Luke of a hospital. It was empty except a man at the counter.  He was big with short, blonde hair. He had dark eyes and wore a wifebeater. On his arm was a sleeve of tattoos, but otherwise he looked clean-cut enough.

“Hey, how’re you fellas doing?” he asked them.

“Good. Thinking about getting a tattoo,” Steve shrugged.

The man laughed. “Not much other reason to come in here. My name’s Xander. What’cha thinking about getting?”

“He wants an eagle,” Luke chimed in.

Steve pointed. “Yeah, on my arm, here.”

“You have anything specific in mind?” Xander asked.

Steve pulled out the designs he printed off. “Something like these. Do you design any tat’s yourself?”

Xander laughed again. He almost seemed too friendly to be who they suspected. “Of course!” He pulled out a book from behind the counter and started flipping. “An eagle, you said?” Handing it to them, he pointed at some of the designs. “Here’s some I’ve done in the past.”

Luke felt his stomach drop. The style was eerily similar to the ones on Kaden. Some of the designs on the pages had words, and the font was unmistakably the same.

Beside him, he noticed Steve grinding his teeth. He must’ve noticed too. “Nice.”

Luke had an idea. “I was thinking of getting one of those aztec feathered snakes. Got anything like that?”

Xander laughed. “That’s pretty specific, but I do.”

“What luck,” Luke mumbled as he flipped to the page and handed it back. 

The snake was the same exact design as the one on Kaden’s left leg.

Steve kept talking, but Luke was tuned out. Every hair on him stood on end, and he wondered what this guy had done to Kaden. The imagined scenarios his mind shot back at him only made him feel sicker. 

When Steve turned to leave, Luke almost forgot to follow him. Xander smiled at them and wished them a good day, but it made Luke’s blood boil. 

Outside, Luke could hardly wait till they got to the car before blurting out, “It’s him. He did those tattoos!”

Steve nodded solemnly. “Yeah.”

“What do we do?” Luke asked. “We have to turn him in!”

“I want to find all of them,” Steve said darkly. 

“What?” 

“He said there were five,” he started pacing with the intense look in his eye he got when he was waist deep in a case. Luke knew it well. “This guy, well, his fucking name is on his back so I think we can rule him as a kidnapper. Jerry Thompson, the sted-dad...he might’ve been one. He might’ve just sold him. I dunno. But worst case there’s four more we need to find.”

“What’s the wait though?” Luke asked.

“If we get them all, maybe we can convince Kaden to testify against them,” Steve said. “He’s scared, he’s probably afraid of someone coming after him. Who knows. But my point is, we snag on of these guys and he rats on a friend, there’s still three more rapists out there. I want to get them all.”

Luke nodded. “I guess there’s really no hurry anyways. Kaden’s not going anywhere. It’s just...how can he...he’s just out here doing tattoos and laughing. How can he...?”

“That’s how they getcha. They act all normal out here, but when they go back to their dark corners,” Steve shook his head. “They’re fucked up.”

Luke sighed. “I think I need a drink.”

“Yeah, me too.”

  
  
  


Luke stumbled up the stairs to his apartment. He had too much and Steve had to drive him home. The sky was black. They had gone to the bar at 6, but it had to be nearing 9 o’clock by now. He already regretted it as he battled to get his key into the lock and open the door. Everything was spinning.

Why had he done this to himself, he wondered. Finding Xander had shook him up. He wished he and Steve could’ve clocked the son of a bitch in his stupid laughing face before they had gone. He grinded his teeth just thinking about it.

When he entered, all the lights were off. A blue flicker came from the TV. Kaden was awake and watched him sway warily from the couch. Stormy jumped off of his lap and meowed whinily. She arched her back against Luke’s leg and he grabbed the counter to keep his balance.

“I gave her some food,” Kaden said tentatively, as if he had done something wrong as was gearing up to apologize. It was a tone Luke was getting very annoyed with. “I didn’t know how much she normally gets.”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” he slurred. “Don’t sound so pathetic, kid. I thought you trusted me, huh?”

Kaden blinked. 

Luke stumbled over. “What? Shy now? After you fucking came onto me again last night?”

He flinched a bit and shook his head slightly. 

Luke laughed. “I got too fucked up. I don’t drink usually.” 

He was watching him the way a mouse watches a cat. “You okay?”

“You have amazing eyes,” Luke said, staggering towards the couch and holding onto the back to keep steady. His hand was right next to Kaden’s neck who froze. “They’re so green.”

“You said...you said you didn’t want to start something with me.”

“I want...” Luke trailed off and started laughing. “Xander was one of the guys who raped you right?”

His face went pale.

“How did you even end up in all that?” 

He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“We’re just trying to help, you know.”

“I know.”

Luke stumbled in front of the couch to face Kaden better. “I’m not like those guys. I don’t wanna hurt you. Why did you come onto me last night? Do you like me or somethin’?”

“I like you!” he yelped too fast. He looked scared. “But you said it was a bad idea.”

“I’m gonna go to jail for harboring you anyways,” Luke laughed. “Me keeping you here is the real bad idea.”

Kaden was panicking. “Wait, I-I can make it up,” he reached for Luke’s crotch and and started rubbing. “If you want me to.”

What was it with this kid and going right to sex when he was scared? But Luke’s self-control was gone. “Fuck it.” He grabbed Kaden’s wrist. “Let’s get off the fucking couch.”

With Kaden being yanked behind, Luke lead him to the bedroom. He was so sick of them living on the couch, and he thought if Kaden wanted to have sex so bad then they could do it fucking right. Like fucking adults.

Clumsily grabbing him by the shoulders, he pushed Kaden onto his back onto the bed. Not very hard, but Kaden didn’t resist. If he had been sober, he might’ve noticed him hyperventilating. Luke climbed on top of the bed and loomed over him on all fours. The kid was staring past him, trying to take deep breaths.

Luke wasn’t quite sure how this was supposed to work. He’d never done anal before, and he’d only slept with one girl. He wasn’t gay...he thought that despite being over a boy in his bed, But the buzz in his head wasn’t letting that stop him. 

He kissed him. It was deep, and he pushed his tongue into Kaden’s mouth. The kid tentatively responded, his heart beating like a trapped moth in his throat. Something about being on top of him like this, it normally would’ve made Luke feel too possessive but right now he liked it. He felt powerful.

Like he was in control again, after dealing with this wildcard and dancing around his weird habits. Luke sort of wanted to hurt Kaden, for making him feel so guilty. For being so pathetic. Just something to knock some sense into him. But this odd desire was faint and passed as easily as a fleeting thought. What he really wanted was much more simple. He broke away from kissing. “Get your mouth on me.”

“Y-yes sir,” Kaden’s hands were shaking as he unzipped Luke’s pants and pulled it out, already hard, but Luke didn’t notice. 

He wasn’t thinking. All he could focus on now was Kaden’s tongue stroking him. His mouth was wet and warm and it felt so fucking good. 

This was so much better than last night, when he was feeling so guilty and every thought was,  _ This is so wrong, this is a crime, you’re an adult, he’s a fucking kid!  _ All of that was gone and all Luke could care about was the great feeling he was getting. He couldn’t help pushing himself deeper and he felt Kaden start to choke. Luke tried to let up a little but he was so fucking close…

He pulled out and came on Kaden’s face. He hadn’t meant to, but kneeling over him, panting and buzzed, he didn’t care either. He blinked slowly at him. “Fuck, kid. How are you so good at this?” he slurred.

Kaden was taking deep breaths, not really moving. He looked like a lump wearing Luke’s old baggy sweatshirt, and his face was splotchy and red and covered in cum. When he opened his eyes, he refused to make eye contact. 

Clumsily, Luke moved back and spread Kaden’s legs with his knees. The kid suddenly whimpered and dug his fists into the sheets. “Sir...I...”

“You made me feel good, now’s your turn,” Luke said, though the words ran together. He started pulling down Kaden’s pants and boxers.

“Wait, sir, please,” Kaden shook his head.

Luke wrapped a hand around Kaden’s dick and tried to touch him the way he touched himself. He went at it for a while, but Kaden didn’t get hard. “What the fuck? What am I doing wrong?”

Kaden bit his lip, face completely red. “H-hit me.”

Luke closed his eyes. “What?”

“Hard. Hit me in the face,” Kaden shook his head slightly. “Please sir. Don’t hold back.”

Not really thinking it through, Luke slapped him. Sure enough, Kaden squirmed and started getting hard. His face was screwed shut though.

“Again. Please sir. And tell me what a whore I am,” he said, voice breaking.

“You’re not a whore,” Luke said stupidly.

Kaden shook his head. “Please, please, please sir...”

Luke complied with the weird instructions, and smacked him across the face again, harder than he had meant. Kaden responded, so Luke tried his best at insults. His drunk voice slurred everything together and made them much more growl-ly than he had intended, but maybe that was what Kaden was after because after a few more hits and names, he was panting. Something about his face made him look like he was in pain though, but it didn’t register with Luke.

He started touching Kaden again, rougher and more carelessly in line with the advice he’d been given. Kaden dug his fists into the bedsheet hard enough that his knuckles turned white and he grinded his hips in an uneven, restrained way. 

“Ch-choke me,” he panted. “F-fucking...punish me!”

Luke wrapped a hand around his throat and squeezed. Kaden jerked and came with a hurt groan. Luke let go of him and the kid curled into his side beneath him, burying his head into the pillow.

Luke was dizzy and tired, and he nearly fell on top of Kaden. He wrapped his arms around the shaking figure and asked confused, “What’s wrong?”

Kaden shook his head. “Nothing, sir.”

Luke couldn’t ponder it. He clocked out moments later, the TV still mumbling in the other room.


	10. Repetition

When Luke woke up the next morning his head pounded and he felt confused. He laid on his side, trying to put it together. Memories of what he had done were coming back to him slowly, but they felt less like stabs of guilt and more like pinpricks. His mind was too fuzzy to fully grasp his situation.

Everything was so bright Luke could hardly see, but he was slowly becoming more aware of his body and what was on him. Kaden’s head was buried in his chest and his arms hugged his torso, his hands loosely clutching his shirt. Luke found his own hands holding the kid close to him, almost pressing his body to his and he suddenly relaxed his subconscious grip with a wave of dull panic. Luke didn’t know how their legs got tangled together. It was a wasn’t comfortable.

Nothing about this situation felt comfortable in the least. At least they weren’t naked, Luke thought bluntly. He felt too hot, he felt gross now. It was all coming back to him, in less of an urgent way than before, but it was a deep feeling of guilt nevertheless. It pulsed in the darkness in the  back of his mind.

Kaden must’ve felt him shift because he started flinching and whimpering in his sleep.

Feeling as if he had done something wrong, Luke started stroking Kaden’s hair, trying to comfort him. “Hey, it’s okay.” He felt like he was lying.

Kaden stirred but remained pressed against Luke’s shirt. “I’m sorry, master. I’m so disgusting...I wanted to be useful...I like you...I thought…I need someone to hurt me...I need to be put in my place...I’m so gross...”

Luke felt a sudden shiver go down his spine at his babbling. He felt sick and had a sudden desire to get the fuck away from all this and forget any of this had ever happened. He felt repulsed, but he also felt himself getting hard again. He felt shameful and he remembered what he had done to Kaden the night before. He promised he wouldn’t hurt him.

“Why are you like this?” Luke said without really thinking. “Why do you need to be hurt and talked to like that?”

“He made me like this...” Kaden was shaking his head, staring at nothing. “I’m fucked up, I can’t...I’m a slut...I...I’m sorry sir, I don’t know what...”

He looked like he was panicking. Kaden’s breathing got heavy and he was visibly shaking. Luke felt like he was watching him crumble beside him.

Luke moved out from under him, trying to get untangled. “Who’s ‘he’?”

Kaden shook his head, falling onto the bed, eyes blank. “Xander...he trained me...Jerry thought I was going to try and kill him...I’m sorry...I tried to ran away...I let him, I wanted it...I like it….”

Not thinking, Luke shook him. “Kid, snap out of it!”

He kept shaking his head. “Fuck me, fuck me, please, sir, please fuck my throat, I can’t, I dont know...”

Luke scooted to the side of bed and backed against the wall. Stormy wandered in, her gold eyes gleaming and tail twitching. She looked spooked.

Kaden was writhing on the bed, shaking his head violently like there was water stuck in it, repeating nonsense and phrases that made Luke feel sick. He looked completely possessed and unnatural. If someone had told Luke that Kaden had been taken over by a demon, he’d have believed them. He was getting really scared.

Eventually Kaden slowed, and got onto his hands and knees and crawled towards Luke, eyes pinned on the blankets.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, and started sobbing quietly. “I get scared when you’re nice to me. I really do like you, I want you to hurt me. I want you to really fucking hurt me. What’s wrong with me?” he seemed to ask the last part to himself. “I don’t belong here. I should leave.”

He looked so broken. Luke’s mind went blank and he grabbed him and kissed him as gently as possible. Kaden kissed back, but he was still shaking and sobbing.

Luke didn’t know what he was thinking as he pushed Kaden onto his back and grinded on top of him. Whenever Kaden got nervous he went straight for sex, right? Luke wasn’t thinking. His brain was so foggy and he had already gotten hard, and Kaden was freaking out and he just didn’t know what else to do.

He wasn’t drunk.

He didn’t know what he was doing.

Was he just as bad as the men who owned him? Luke really didn’t know. He knew this was wrong, but surely this was the lesser of two evils.

Beneath him Kaden was breathing very hard, but he had stopped crying. His arms wrapped around Luke’s neck, but they were trembling enough that Luke could feel it. Luke looked down at Kaden, but Kaden’s eyes were shut and his face was red.

Kaden didn’t like this, it was clear. But Luke didn’t stop. He was afraid of Kaden freaking out and losing him again. So instead he pushed Kaden’s legs apart and started pulling down his pants.

 

It was a seemingly random day that Jerry announced they were going to a friend’s party that night. Together.

Kaden started to panic. “Sir, I don’t know if I can handle it. I-I-”

“Shh,” Jerry held him close, and Kaden tried to bite down the fear he got from Jerry’s erection poking through his pants onto his stomach. “It’s okay, you’ll do fine. You’ll like it.”

Kaden gulped.

Before they left, Kaden was stripped and Jerry put a cage on his dick (probably the one from training that Jerry used on him from time to time). He cuffed his hands behind his back, blindfolded him and put a gag on his mouth. Kaden shivered, realizing this was going to be another night of humiliation. 

Kaden was walked blindly to the car and put into the trunk. He felt dull fear as he felt the car move, but he bit down the most intense emotions swiftly. He tried to be blank. He tried to be the Kaden that was gone and didn’t have to experience any of this.

When they got there, Kaden was yanked out of the trunk and walked up a road. When the door opened he heard jeers and he wanted to die. He was very confused as to where he was in space and time, but the name calling and the groping reminded him he was still in the same world.

He heard laughter and was walked in what felt like circles until he was suddenly pushed. He screamed as the ground disappeared from under him and he landed on his shoulder on a step corner. It burned as he rolled down the rest of the way and he laid face down on the cement.

A claw flipped him onto his back and his bound hands were crushed into the cold floor. It yanked off his blindfold and gag he stared dizzily at Jerry laughing with several strangers. One of them had a gun and pointed it straight at Kaden. The kid stared stupidly.

The gunholder swayed the gun to the side and shot, and a loud explosion made Kaden flinch. The man laughed, “No one’s around to hear. Just wanted to make sure he knew it was real.” He cocked it and put his hand on the trigger.

Kaden squirmed and shook his head. Were they going to kill him? “Wh-what do you want?” he begged.

The man sauntered towards him and stuck the cold metal pistol into his mouth. “Be a good whore and suck it.”

Kaden was so scared, he tried doing what he was told, but for the first time in a long time, he was breaking down. He wrapped his mouth around the metal and sobbed.

Around him there was laughter, and even more so when the man pulled the trigger.

Kaden heard the click and screamed, but there was no shot. It must not have been loaded anymore.

For the first time in a long time, Kaden felt fire in his gut. It was the humiliation and the fear. He felt someone grab him from behind and starting to grope him. The group around him was closing in and there was nothing but burning touches and hits and clawing. He suddenly felt awake and helpless and he started thrashing. He started screaming and crying in anger.

“Why are you doing this to me? Why is this happening to me, God! Why?”

He didn’t care that some of the men liked it when he hated what was happening to him. His body betrayed him anyways, he panted and moaned at being abused. “Why am I like this?” he cried.

A deep voice from an unplaceable part of the crowd growled, “Because you’re a murderer, you bitch,” and the rest jeered. 

“Then kill me already! This is too much! This is way too much! I can’t do this anymore!”

Someone stuck a needle in his neck and suddenly everything went hazed. The fire hadn’t left him, but it wasn’t as urgent, and Kaden felt numb.

He couldn’t concentrate as they started fucking him. He started moaning loudly and grinding his hips and he felt the people around him making fun of him. The device kept him from getting release, but he suddenly felt he had to get it. He felt so frustrated it hurt.

Everything felt much  _ more _ than it ever had before. Kaden felt like he was going insane. Every touch made him shiver. Every hit made it stronger. He started crying and begging and pleading. They untied him and asked him to beg to be fucked.

Kaden didn’t care. He threw himself on the first stranger he saw and started sucking on his neck and pawing at his crotch. He heard him chuckle as he threw him painfully on the ground and pinned him by the neck. Gasping, Kaden didn’t fight, he tried to pull the man closer.

“What a whore,” he chuckled again, pinching Kaden painfully.

“F-Fuck me! Please sir, please f-fuck me, make me come,” Kaden panted. He had no idea where any of this was coming from. He was used to faking it, but he wasn’t faking this. 

Again the man laughed darkly, and someone handed him a stick with two metal protrusions.  Kaden dimly thought it was a cattle prod, but it was a picana. 

Kaden felt dull, choking fear, but he also felt compelled beyond reason to come, and kept begging, “Fuck me Let me come!” over and over, almost crazily.

He stopped when the man shoved the device up him and he felt a sudden jolt and screamed. It burned and he writhed, feeling uncontrollably shaky and still incredibly hard. It all hurt.

The mad raped him with the thing, electrocuting him at random. The sudden shocks made his whole body spasm. Everything on him was already beyond sensitive, and these electrocutions were no different. Everything was going dark to Kaden except the laughing about him. When it finally ended, Kaden felt so far away he could hardly tell where he was anymore.

“Please let me come, please” he started begging again, crying. He curled into a ball on the ground. He could hardly see anything anymore and everything sounded warped.

Someone used their foot to lift his face and spat on him. “Get up, whore. Keep begging. Do you want to be fucked, you slut?”

Kaden got on his knees. “Yes! Please, fuck me, please let me come.”

He couldn’t stand, he felt like jelly. He clutched at a strangers legs and begged them. He felt so fucking disgusting. Everything around him was mocking him, he started begging for death between his pleas. He said, “Fuck me, fuck me sir, please, please just kill me, just let me come already, please fucking kill me like the worthless slut I am please let me come, please fuck me…”

He rambled. All the words mashed together into a pathetic mess. All Kaden felt were hands grabbing him again and pushing and laughter and being unable to fight. He was staring but he couldn’t see anything around him. Colors mashed together, he felt blind, he felt like nothing.

The pooling desire inside him was making him burn. He had to get off, but he was endlessly frustrated. The anger grew as he realized he was going to be made to suffer and if they eventually let him cum, it was going to be humiliating. Kaden was pushed into the ground and fucked and spat on and laughed at. He didn’t see anything around him and he hated himself so much.

And he was right. By the time he was a shivering shaking mess despite everything, still needing to come and crying, they took off the device. They made him grind against the cold floor while someone pinned his back down with their shoe and others burned him with cigarettes. It took a long time and Kaden kept sobbing, but eventually he came painfully and collapsed.

They kept playing with him and raping him even when he no longer moved or responded to anything.

The drug wore off by the end of the night and he was left alone for a while.

They never tied him back up. Kaden lied on the floor spread eagle feeling numb and as far removed from human as ever.

The fire in him kept burning. He hated them. He hated himself.

How could they do this to him?

They made him feel like nothing.

He was nothing.

He wanted to die.

He heard the voices upstairs and eventually his vision became clear again. He was in a dimly lit cement basement littered with boxes and old bikes and electronics. A yellow light shone from the wooden stairs and the door up there was shut. He sat on the floor and put his knees up to his chest and waited apathetically for someone to collect him. After a while he started looking around and he saw a window was open at the top of the ceiling. A collection of boxes made stairs to their way to it. Kaden almost pictured a ray of light and a chorus of angels.

Kaden looked around. No one.

Heart beating and hardly thinking, he limped across and scaled the boxes.

Whipping his head around, making himself dizzy, he checked the coast. No one was coming.

Desperately, he squeezed through the window and pulled himself into the dark grass. The house bled yellow light from most of its windows and the bass of the music being played thumped into the night. It was summer and probably very early in the morning.

Kaden stared around. There were no houses nearby, but there was a road. Suddenly, Kaden was very aware that he was naked, but he didn’t care.

He started limping along the road.

Kaden woke up in a ditch. The sun was far up and his brain was hazy. He wanted to cry. How could he have run away again? He couldn’t survive out here.

For a while he just stared at the blue sky and cried silently. Eventually he got up and looked around. Away from the road was a thick forest. On the road he heard cars passing by every so often. If he got up, they’d spot him.

Suddenly, Kaden was apprehensive. He was naked. He was covered in bruises. His right leg had “MURDER” carved into it. What would the passerby’s think? Would they even help him? Was he too weird to belong out here anymore.

Before he could decide, he heard a bark to his left. Suddenly, a man walking a black lab approached. Kaden started shaking and curled into a ball to cover himself, but the man already spotted him and was running in his direction.

“Hey boy, are you okay-Jesus fuck!” he suddenly yelped.

Kaden stared at the dead grass around him. “Please help me, sir.”

“Boy, what happened to you? Who did this to you?”

Kaden shook his head.

“Do you need me to call the police?”

“No!” Kaden said suddenly. He remembered the police officer who betrayed him the first time, and he wasn’t sure he could trust them.

“What about the hospital?” he said.

“I...Idon’t know,” Kaden started crying. He didn’t know who he could trust.

The man put his hand on Kaden’s shoulder and started rubbing. “Hey, my name’s Ryan. I’m going to help you, okay boy?”

Kaden nodded.

Ryan gave Kaden his jacket and walked him home, the black lab following and sniffing the kid curiously.

They eventually came to Ryan’s home, a little one story house just into the forest, and he gave Kaden a towel and hot chocolate. 

“So what happened to you?”

Kaden swallowed. “I ran away. My step father and his friends did some bad things to me and I had to get away.”

“That’s awful,” Ryan said, rubbing Kaden’s shoulders. Kaden didn’t know how to feel about it, but he was helping him, so he put it aside. “What did they do?”

“Th-they beat me.”

“How?”

“I don’t—lots of things,” Kaden stammered. “They hit me and kicked me and belted me...”

“Go on,” Ryan was rubbing the middle of Kaden’s back now. “I need to know how badly you are hurt.”

“They—they choked me and threw me against things, they burned me and cut me and electrocuted me...”

“And that’s it?” Ryan asked, his hands getting lower.

Kaden started shaking. “They fucked me.”

“How?”

“They fucked my mouth a-and my ass,” Kaden whimpered. 

“Did you like it?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“You’re getting hard now just talking about it.”

Kaden started to cry. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“You don’t recognize me, do you? You were pretty high last night.”

He felt the towel and the jacket being torn away from him, and Ryan groped his chest and chuckled.

“You-you electrocuted me...”

Ryan smiled. “I told Hank to leave the window open and the boxes stacked under it. We were hoping you would run. My dog’s a tracker and we knew you wouldn’t get far.”

The black lab whined in the corner of the kitchen.

Shaking and sobbing, Kaden started to cry. “I’m so sorry, sir. Is Jerry going to punish me?”

Ryan pushed him off the chair and started yanking him to another room. “Most definitely. But first...you’re so cute when you’re humiliated.”

He brought Kaden down the hall and into a bedroom. On the side of the bed was a large mirrored closet. Ryan pushed Kaden onto the bed. “I want you to get on your hands and knees and look at yourself.”

Kaden stared at the empty shell reflecting back at him and flinched as Ryan climbed behind him and started groping him. He ran his hands all over Kaden’s chest, stopping to pinch his nipples. “Keep staring, look how red your face is getting. Look how hard you’re getting. You love this, you little slut.”

Kaden wanted to die. He wanted to disappear.

“Tell me how it felt the first time he took you.”

Kaden shook his head. “It hurt so much.”

“Did you cum?”

Kaden nodded.

“Do you like being beaten? Is that why you’re so disobedient?”

Kaden started to cry.

“Xander said you like being made a bitch. You ask for it with that cute little face. I want to see you cry.”

He made Kaden stare at himself getting raped in the mirror while he kept talking. By the time he was left on the bed by himself, he could do nothing but stare at himself and long for death. The hate in his heart was gone for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been so long, will keep updating sporadically


	11. Change

Jerry didn’t like him anymore, and lent him out to friends very often now. Maybe it was the third betrayal, but Kaden heard from several of his rapists that Kaden was getting too old for him. Age was a little foggy for Kaden, but he thought he was 14 or 15 now. He had trouble remembering. 

When Jerry did bother to fuck him himself, he was rough and angry. He choking Kaden past consciousness regularly and would rape him without lube often as well. When Kaden was permitted a bath, he held Kaden under the water until his lungs filled with water and it took all his strength to not fight back. Unprovoked, he’d suddenly tie Kaden to the wall and beat him mercilessly. The rest of the time he was not using him or hurting him, Jerry left Kaden tied up and blindfolded in the basement.

Kaden sobbed for hours, missing the forest and the birds he used to watch outside in the mornings. He felt so stupid and pathetic and disgusting for it, but he couldn’t help it. 

Suicide seemed like the only thing left, but he was only free when Jerry was around.

So Kaden egged Jerry on. 

When he choked him, he tried to make him angry. He said, “I hate you, Jerry! I wish you had died, not Mom!” He tried to get him to lose control and finally just kill him already, and he usually got him to get him within and inch of his life. But it was never enough.

He tried to get dirt and rust into his wounds by writhing on the dirty floor, hoping to get infected and die, but Jerry cleaned them out and it never worked.

Jerry was home less and less, and soon Kaden heard him mentioning that he was dating a woman named Lucinda. He never brought her here, and Kaden didn’t think he’d ever see her. If Jerry made them met, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to act normal. It wasn’t like he could trust her for help, right? It could be another trick.

Running away was a broken dream once again. Kaden felt so foolish for taking the leap despite learning his lesson the first time. He’d just been so angry and scared and stupid. He should’ve never trusted anyone.

What was the real world anymore? Kaden didn’t know.

It was very sudden, but one day Jerry got more gentle with Kaden than he had in a long time. He started kissing him very gently, and Kaden was encouraged to kiss back. It felt so good after him acting so coldly to him for so long. It made his heart melt. He loved kissing, as much as he could love any part of the process, but kissing was good. He felt shivers go down his spine as Jerry rubbed down his back, touching his wounds and making them burn.

“Kaden, I’m going to give you to someone to keep.”

Kaden broke away, feeling strangely hurt and worried. “What? Why? I’m sorry master, I can be better! Please!”

Jerry just shook his head. “Things are getting serious with Lucinda, and I want to be there for her. She’s my family now, and you have to go.”

Kaden started to break down. “Y-you’ve made me into your toy and now you’re just going to throw me away? Why can’t you let me go?! If you don’t want me, let me go already!”

Jerry chuckled darkly and gripped Kaden tightly. Kaden felt like a mouse being squeezed by a snake and went still. “You think you can function out there, you whore? You think anyone will want you when they see how perverted you are?” He slapped Kaden in the face and grabbed at his crotch. “Look, you’re hard from this. You’re not normal, Kaden. You’d be so lost, I’m doing you a favor.”

Kaden felt empty. “You said you loved me. You said we were family.”

Jerry laughed again, cruelly. “I did love you, slut. I really did. Xander’s gonna love you.”

Suddenly Kaden snapped. He started pushing away, squirming. “Xander? Please, please anyone but him, master! He’ll kill me! He’ll fucking kill me!”

“Then I hope he sends me pictures” Jerry laughed and Kaden fell to the ground in a ball.

Kaden didn’t cry, he went silent and shook while Jerry picked him up. He placed Kaden facedown on the bed and forced his legs apart.

 

Luke watched TV on the couch, alone, feeling shaky. Even Stormy wanted nothing to do with him, and she stayed in the kitchen, tail lashing.

Kaden was in the bedroom, curled up on his side and seeming to be asleep, but Luke wasn’t sure. He looked towards the window and saw rain splattering against the window. Out there it was dark.

That morning Luke had jacked Kaden off again. He wouldn’t get hard unless Luke called him a whore and hit him or pinched him. Kaden was more vocal about what he “wanted”, but scared Luke a lot. Kaden wanted to be insulted.

“Call me a slut master,” Kaden had said, gripping the bed sheet so hard his knuckles turned white. “T-tell me how dirty and awful I am, please, please!”

Luke wasn’t very good at talking dirty, he mostly just repeated the insults branded onto the boy’s skin and it seemed to work. Despite the bitter taste they left in his mouth, they sure did seem to reduce Kaden to a panting mess, which Luke liked on some level. He kinda liked turning him on, even if it made him feel upset to think of the implications.

Hurting him was a bit different. Kaden begged to be slapped and pinched and punished, and at some point Luke felt like it helped him let off steam. He was frustrated by the way Kaden behaved and very scared. Maybe the kid deserved it.

And thinking that made Luke feel incredibly guilty, so he pushed it away.

After Kaden came, he gave Luke a bowjob that was just as good as the others. Luke didn’t try to choke him, he really didn’t, but the kid was so good that it was hard for him to control himself. Kaden seemed to be encouraging it too, it made it difficult.

Then Kaden seemed so tired that Luke stroked his hair until he fell asleep and snuck off.

Luke just sat on the couch, not really watching TV, feeling shame and worry. This was so wrong. Was the kid calling him master? What the hell? He actually physically hurt the kid. Again. He raped him. That was statutory rape right? Technically? Oh God, this was a nightmare, this couldn’t be real.

Yet as Luke checked on Kaden again, still sleeping, he wanted to do it again. He wanted to comfort the kid, he wanted Kaden’s mouth on his dick again.

Luke felt so ashamed. He grabbed his laptop and sat on the couch. He really should do his fucking job and just forget all this.

 

Kaden was pinned down on the hotel bed, being pounded into mercilessly. It was a dingy room, not unlike the one he had first been raped in.

Being Xander’s slave had been horrible. He was rarely gentle and not afraid of incapacitating Kaden for days. He barely treated his wounds, leaving Kaden to either fend for himself or get help from one of Xander’s friends who fucked him but sometimes felt sympathy. Kaden started to pick out the ones that would help him, George, Carl, Devin…

Xander tattooed his entire body a few months after he got him. He strapped Kaden down and did it in a few sessions, not caring how much it hurt the kid. He only let Kaden pick out one, a feathered snake, and didn’t let him pick the location. Kaden wasn’t even sure where it ended up for a few days. He had no idea what was on his back and neck and only saw glimpses in mirrors.

The tattoos did make him look a bit older though, or at least tougher, so Kaden didn’t completely hate them. He did hate what they said though, once he started reading them. He supposed even his own skin was meant to humiliate him.

He remembered what Xander told him when he first started training him, that he wanted Kaden to hate himself intensely. Kaden supposed it was true now. He hated the pathetic desperate disgusting boy he had become, eagerly sucking cock for less that a piece of toast and moaning and getting hard at being slapped across the face. He hated that he cried all the time like a blithering idiot and often couldn’t think very long about anything. That his thoughts were so fuzzy and he didn’t fight back much. That escaping was impossible. He had had several opportunities since he got here, but he had been too scared. 

Xander lent him out very often, and often at a price. They either fucked him at home or at a hotel, or in the middle of the woods if that was their thing. Kaden didn’t really care, though he prefered not to get covered in mud and bugs.

Kaden tried to find anything to cling to. He fell in love with his nicest clients. If Xander let him, he slept with them as often as possible. He thought they really loved him, or at least he pretended to, knowing in the back of his mind that these men fucked boys and thought he was less than human or they’d at least call the fucking police and get him out of there.

They cuddled after sex, even if they were a bit rough, which everyone was, but Kaden didn’t care. He let them stroke him and pet him. He kissed them passionately and loved seeing them get turned on by him. He wanted them to touch him and make him feel good and send shivers through him. 

George was his favorite, because although he was a sadist in bed, he brought Kaden gifts from time to time. Little marbles or dice, just little things. But Kaden treasured them and hid them under his cot. He played with them, giving them names and stories. He felt really stupid, somewhere deep down, playing make believe and pretending with toys like he was fucking 8 or something, but he needed this. He needed something to feel like a child again.

What was he? 15? 14? He couldn’t even remember anymore. He was 12 the first time, but he felt like an adult for years.

The meanest customers were harder to handle, and often made Kaden unable to move or speak for days. Sometimes Xander let him rest, other times he gave him to people who were okay with groping and limited contact depending on what was hurting.

Kaden was beaten so often and taken care of so poorly that some things never healed. His right leg had a kink in it that never went away. His left wrist sometimes bent funny. 

At some point Kaden stopped caring. He figured he’d die sooner or later, he’d never get out of this place. So what if it was suffering all the way through? By now he was used to it. He no longer felt sick at anything.

He hated the men who raped him, but he hated himself a lot more.


	12. Thoughtless

Kaden was largely left to fend for himself under Xander’s care, and that included finding food. Xander wasn’t nearly as paranoid as Jerry, he didn’t tie him up or keep food locked away. Maybe Xander knew Kaden was too afraid of him to try anything, that arrogant fucker. Left the door unlocked and everything, daring him to try and escape and knowing he’d be too much of a chicken. It sort of made Kaden want to try something just to prove him wrong. But his heart wasn’t in it. It would be pointless anyways, it’d just make life harder right?

Kaden tried to be quiet, sneaking around Xander’s house. It was a one story dingy place in the middle of many other one story dingy houses in the city. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be seen by the neighbors because then they’d ask questions. Kaden already had a lie in mind, not one that Xander told him to say, because Xander would beat the shit out of him if he got caught. No, but Kaden still thought it’d be best to lie and say he was 18 and Xander’s cousin and he was just staying here because he had nowhere else to go and would probably be leaving soon. The last part would be true, because if Xander caught him talking to strangers, he’d surely be dead and they’d never see him again.

He looked like a freak, covered in bruises and tattoos with slurs and insults and such sexual things. If he wanted to cover them, he’d have to wear long sleeves and pants, and cover his neck completely. Kaden didn’t think Xander ever planned on trying to pass him through public, and he wondered if he would ever be in a normal crowd ever again. Probably not. He’d probably freak out.

All the windows were covered anyways and Kaden only went outside a few times at night to scrounge through the garbage for food. He didn’t find much. He did hate himself a bit for eating the little he did find, though.

More regularly he looked for food in the cupboards and the refrigerator. He tried to be quiet, because Xander slept very lightly and often crashed on the couch just outside the kitchen. If Kaden woke him up he’d usually want him for a sex act of some kind, and with Xander it was always a bit intense. Kaden’d rather avoid unnecessary sexual interaction with him if possible.

The kitchen unfortunately was eternally understocked and poorly kept. If Kaden was lucky he could steal a few spoonfuls of peanut butter, but there was not much else to eat. He’d usually feel resigned and knew he’d have to beg one of Xander’s “friends” if he wanted anything.

If he was fortunate, one of the kinder clients would be more than happy to grab him something at a fast food place or get him a candy bar or something. If he had to deal with the meaner ones, though, he could expect an unusual and humiliating favor in exchange. The problem was that once he brought it up, he wasn’t in a position to refuse if that’s what the client wanted, so Kaden chose his dealings carefully. It often meant going hungry.

Today, however, Kaden had luck because he was sleeping with George who recently wanted him to start calling him “Mr. Mason”, which Kaden complied to. George usually brought Kaden food anyways, and little trinkets as small gifts for him to collect. Kaden would say that he was a bit in love with the man, even though in the back of his mind he knew he was nothing but a toy to him. He didn’t care, he didn’t know what was real anymore, to be honest.

So George picked Kaden up in the morning and brought him to a motel. He had stopped and got him a sandwich and let him eat it on the way. 

“Thank you so much, Mr. Mason,” Kaden said as he relished the food, trying very hard to have self control and not make himself sick. 

George smiled. “It’s no problem, sweetheart.”

Kaden was still a bit nervous as he swallowed the food down. Sex with George was incredibly intense. Although George seemed to like him and treat him with nothing but kindness outside of the act, once they were going George wanted to rape Kaden. That was his fantasy, as Kaden learned very early on. He liked feeling powerful. He wanted Kaden to cry and protest and resist. Kaden was okay with it, because on a basic level he  _ was  _ being raped. He wasn’t pretending, he really did want to resist. Afterwards, he did like cuddling with George and kissing, but it didn’t change that he was here because Xander was being paid to let George do whatever he wanted with him.

And that George had bought him like a toy or a dog.

Once they got into the hotel room, George pinned him against the wall and started kissing him.

Kaden squirmed, pushing him away, cocking his head to the side and trying not to let him into his mouth. He felt his tongue on his cheek. George liked this game. “Please, please Mr. Mason, what are you doing? Stop! Please, stop!”

“Quit squirming you little bitch,” George growled, and grabbed Kaden’s hands in one hand and his face in the other. He forced him still, despite Kaden still trying to push his assailant away with his legs meekly. He gasped as George entered his mouth, forcing his tongue across Kaden’s. Although he was sore from encounters with other men the days prior, Kaden wanted to put up a good fight for George. The man really liked it when he did.

Hands were pushing him into the wall so hard, he started crying and trying to kick. George slapped him across the face and Kaden slumped, too dizzy to fight back for a second. Grabbing him by the shoulders, George yanked him and threw him onto the ground. One thing Kaden admitted to himself that he really didn’t like was George’s aversion to fucking him on a bed. What was even the point of being in a hotel?

He felt rough hands pulling off his clothes and he thrashed blindly. “Stop! Please stop! Mr. Mason! No! No! Anything but this!”

George forced Kaden face down into the scratchy carpet, and Kaden felt panic cramp in his chest. Maybe it was the play acting, but everything was suddenly feeling terrible and horrifying, just like the first times. Kaden wished he could turn this part of himself off. When he was pretending to want this it was easier to ignore.

But right now it was fucking real, so Kaden started hyperventilating and tears stung his eyes and fell down his face, making his cheeks cold and wet. He yelped, “Stop! Stop! I mean it! Stop, Mr. Mason! I can’t do this! Please stop! It’s too much! You’re hurting me!”

The way he was being pushed into against the carpet, he was going to get rug burns on his chest, and Kaden grinded his teeth. George dug his nails into Kaden’s skin. Above him, Kaden heard George’s growly voice grow thick with arousal, and he felt terror shoot down his spine. “You’re such a fucking little bitch, you crying, boy? You crying like a little baby?”

Kaden tried to deepen his breathes, he couldn’t lose himself yet. He was pretending to be raped, he was being raped. It was hurting his mind to stretch around these concepts, they were both true. “Sir, stop, please Mr. Mason. It hurts.”

It was hurting enough to make him hard, and Kaden started squirming for a new reason. He tried to keep his panting to himself, it sounded like choked sobbing, which George seemed to like by the way he was speeding up.

George came with a gasp, and Kaden followed with a broken sob. Kaden pressed his face against the rough rug. He wasn’t crying anymore, he just felt strangely numb and very tired.

After a few moments, George got off of him saying, “Jesus, fuck Kaden. You’re so good at this.”

Kaden got on his knees and tried to gather himself. He felt strangely angry, so he swallowed it and concentrated on not getting himself into trouble.  “Thank you, sir.”

He took a shower with George after that, and George didn’t touch him much besides helping him wash his hair (Kaden had hurt his arm recently and had trouble lifting it up high) and holding him close, affectionately. They got dressed and snuggled on the bed, watching the hotel TV.

Kaden was grateful for any comfort, he felt safe. He pressed against George’s lap, feeling fingers run through his hair caringly. Eyes shut, he tried to imagine the man cared for him back, that he didn’t just use him to fulfill his rape fantasy. He pretended he was his father that he never knew, who’d never touch him, who loved him. Or a really good friend who knew how tired he was, how much he needed human contact. Maybe he’d pretend they were legitimate lovers, that they were much closer in age, that George only had sex with him when Kaden wanted it, that Kaden never felt pressured or anything. Which would probably be never, he realized darkly.

He never wanted to have sex. He never really enjoyed it, even when he came. The whole experience was awful to him, if he never had sex for the rest of his like, he’d be fine. He wasn’t even sure he could do it with a girl, he didn’t want to do it with anyone at all.

Kaden just wanted to lie on George’s lap and fall asleep and be petted on his hair. 

“What are you thinking about, sweetheart?” George asked him.

“You,” Kaden said after a thought. He said whatever he had to to get on his clients’ good sides. He hardly knew what was true anymore, everything he said felt like a lie anyways.

“How sweet,” George said with a laugh.

“You’re the only one I like sleeping with,” Kaden said thoughtlessly. “I love being raped, being forced by someone so strong. Being put in my place. And you’re so nice afterwards, it’s like you really care about me.”

“I do care about you a lot,” he admitted, still running his fingers through Kaden’s hair. “You’re probably the best Xander’s found, you’re pretty popular.”

“I know,” Kaden tried not to sound bitter about it. “I can’t even count how many it’s been. He’s been running me ragged since he got me.”

“Would you like to live with me, Kaden?”

“Of course, but I don’t think Xander’d let me.”

“I was thinking of buying you from him.”

Kaden was a little shocked. “Really? Why?”

“I want you all to myself,” George laughed. “Why do you think?”

Kaden suddenly felt warm in his chest. He felt giddy almost, gushingly happy. He smiled idiotically at the blankets around him, wanting to hide his face or get up and yell. Was this love? Why was he feeling so stupid, he knew George didn’t truly love him back. He was buying him like he was a slave.

But something in Kaden didn’t care. This was his world now, this was the closest he got to love, to being loved, was being wanted.

“I don’t know what to say. I...it’s just, I’d love that, I’d love that so much.” Kaden’s smile came through in his voice and George grinned at him.

“Let’s not count our chickens before they hatch, alright sweetheart? I’m gonna talk to him today about it, so we’ll see.”

 

Luke sighed, having trouble concentrating on his work. It kept raining outside.

Stormy meowed at him, her golden eyes gleaming accusingly. She lashed her tail from side to side.

“You think I’m disgusting, don’t you?” Luke said, feeling a bit crazed for talking to a cat, so he laughed at himself. 

Stormy didn’t answer besides a twitch of her ears.

“You’re probably just hungry,” he speculated and got up to feed her. By the speed at which she trotted into the kitchen, Luke saw that he was right.

As she ate, Luke looked at his phone. Steve had sent a few texts, saying he dug up a few names. There was Jerry Thompson and Xander Brinley, of course, but there were a few new names. Hank Ellis and George Mason. Hank was found both were found on both Xander’s and Jerry’s social media pages, particularly Facebook.

Steve wrote that these were the most likely suspects to him, and that if Luke could get any information out of Kaden, it would go a long way to confirming it.

Luke texted back that he would try, but he would probably need a few days. Kaden was cagey at best and he doubted he could use any approach that wasn’t subtle.

Steve conceded, but Luke could tell he was annoyed. Steve liked to get after things, if there was something wrong in the world, he wanted it fixed as soon as possible. Waiting on Kaden made things frustratingly slow.

There was still the question of what would happen to Luke after all this. He was harboring a minor, that was still a crime. Not to mention the statutory rape...Luke really didn’t want to think about it. 

Instead he left out some food for Kaden and went out to run to the liquor store. He needed a drink.

 

Kaden had passed out in the upstairs bedroom after a client had tied him up to whip and fuck him. He woke when he felt a shoe under his chin nudge him to look upwards. He painfully opened his eyes and saw Xander looming over him, holding a sledge hammer, grinning smugly.

“You’re getting outta here, kid. You know George? He just laid some cash on you, you’re going to live with him now.”

Kaden blinked. “Whatever my master wants.”

Xander suddenly crouched down and pinched one of Kaden’s nipples with his claw-like fingernails. “You gonna miss me, slut?”

“Y-yes sir!” Kaden yelped, wide awake.

“He’ll take you tomorrow, so I think our last night should be special, huh?”

“Yes sir.”

“I told him you might be in injured condition, he said it’d be fine. Tomorrow’s your first day, I doubt he’ll make you work too hard. I don’t think you’ll need to walk,” he laughed as Kaden started shaking, and he used the sledge hammer to tap Kaden’s legs. “I don’t think you’ll need these. Or these,” he tapped Kaden’s arms. “But I’ll give you the choice Kaden, if you show me what a good slut you can be.” He untied him and let him crumple to the ground.

Kaden shook, but he got up, still feeling sore, and wrapped his arms around Xander, pulling him into a kiss. He held still when Xander bit down on his bottom lip hard, but still yelped. He started running his hands under Xander’s shirt, moving downwards. “Please fuck me, master, please fuck me and make me your bitch. I’m such a stupid slut, put me in my place. Fuck me until I bleed, please,” he added a moan, trying to sound lustful, pathetic.

Xander dug his claws into Kaden’s sides and pushed him over the desk in the corner of the room. He fucked him roughly, thrusting too fast, not preparing him at all, though Kaden didn’t need it much at that point. He reached around him and clawed at his chest, piercing his nipples painfully. Kaden pressed his face against the wooden surface and let out moans and gasps. He wasn’t getting hard, he had already came not so long ago and was spent, but he squirmed and gasped like a slut.

When Xander finally came, Kaden stayed pressed against the desk, feeling very tired and hot. Xander wiped the spit from his mouth and went back to grab the sledge hammer. He grinned. “Good job, whore. You get your pick. Would you rather it be your legs or your arms?”

Kaden panted, “Legs, please master.”

He heard Xander cackle and grab him by the neck. Kaden followed limply, trying not to think of what was ahead.

 

Kaden woke up in an unfamiliar place. He tried to move but everything felt so numb and heavy he gave up. Wherever he was it was surrounded by soft blankets. A dull fire ached below him, his legs were burning. He felt something on them, casts? A brace? He couldn’t see. They throbbed deeply, and he dully remembered being tied down and the sharp sickening crack, photos being taken, laughing, being spat and pissed on by Xander, being raped again far into the night, the pain being way too much.

He should’ve built up a tolerance for this shit by now, right? Kaden stared at the ceiling above, studying the rough odd patterns and finding faces. A presence put a wet towel on him (did he have a fever?) and ran its fingers through his hair.

“Sweetheart, are you awake?” George asked softly.

Kaden tried to open his mouth but all he could muster was a ghostly moan of pain.

George kept petting him. “I’m not going to touch you until you’re better, alright?”

Kaden closed his eyes, focusing on the comfort.

 

Luke checked on Kaden again when he got back. He was still sleeping. He sighed and went back to work on the couch, trying to regain his focus.

After a while he made some headway, and he felt a little better about himself.

Kaden finally awoke to limp out for some food. Luke thought his leg was healed by now, he just always walked funny. 

Luke made spaghetti for the two of them, and while it wasn’t the best, Kaden gobbled it down. The two hardly spoke until Luke suddenly said, “I don’t want to take advantage of you. We can’t have sex anymore.”

Kaden blinked at him. “You’re not taking advantage of me, I wanted to thank you.”

“I don’t need thanks. I helped you because it was the right thing to do.”

“I’m not doing anything here,” Kaden said. “All I’m doing is sleeping in your house and eating your food. I-I want to be useful, I like you. I really like you.” 

Luke shook his head. “You don’t get it. It’s not healthy.”

“You jerked me off this morning, you didn’t seem to care. You let me blow you.”

“I couldn’t help it,” Luke said pathetically. “I panicked.”

“Let me do this for you,” Kaden said, staring at the ground. 

Luke dropped it.

After that Kaden watched TV on the couch and Luke started drinking the beers he had bought earlier. It was night. Once he was buzzed he went to the living room. 

Everything was dark except the blue light of the TV casting inconsistent streaks of brightness over them. Kaden watched half-heartedly, seemingly not being particularly interested in the program.

He looked up as Luke approached. Luke leaned down, grabbed Kaden’s face and kissed him wordlessly. Kaden kissed back, closing his eyes. 

Luke felt Kaden lean back complantly as he pushed him down onto his back on the couch. His mind was blank as he ran his hands under the kid’s clothes, feeling him for the first time and feeling excited to be touching something new.

Under him, Kaden squirmed slightly, “Do-Do you want me to touch you too, master?”

“Yes, yes,” Luke said, and he stopped to take off his shirt. Kaden ran his hands over his chest moving downward slowly and deliberately. 

“Such a dirty boy,” he laughed and he started taking Kaden’s clothes off below him. It wasn’t super easy, since Kaden was lying down, but he helped him wriggle out of them.

Luke sucked on his neck, getting more excited when he felt Kaden shiver. He felt himself getting hard, and he discarded his pants.

Looming over Kaden on all fours, he stared at him for a second. Kaden’s face was red, though it was hard to tell in the flickering lights, and he stared past Luke blankly.

“What do you want?” Luke asked.

“Tie me up, and choke me,” Kaden said softly.

Luke grabbed a shirt off of the floor and bound Kaden’s hands above his head. He pushed Kaden over, onto his stomach. “I’ve never done anal before.”

“You don’t need to prepare me,” Kaden shook. “Do you have lube?”

Luke got up and staggered off to get some from his bedroom and came back.

“Remember to choke me, call me a disgusting slut,” Kaden said, burying his head in the couch.

Beyond them the TV kept flickering and the rain outside kept tapping against the window at a steady pace.


	13. Comfort

The world around Kaden started growing clarity in the coming days and weeks. His legs were in DIY splints and in constant dull fire, though George provided him with enough meds to keep him high as a kite. It was the first time Kaden had felt so giddily relaxed.

He was in a cot in a very small room with a low ceiling. Around him old boxes and old electronics were pushed to the side. A small TV with an old-fashioned screen flickered in his sight from where he was bedridden, and it played a marathon of old Twilight Zone episodes over and over, though Kaden’s ability to pay attention to anything let alone the surreal narratives of the show was shot to hell and back.

It was mostly dark, though George turned on a dim lamp when he came to check on him. He didn’t touch him much, just stroked his hair and said meaningless sweet nothings that Kaden barely comprehended. He felt like he was in a foggy dreamish nightmare he couldn’t wake from for the life of him.

Above him he heard the creaks of footsteps and a woman’s voice, and a voice that sounded like George’s. Kaden couldn’t comprehend the meaning of this, but he felt unhopeful nethertheless. His intuition told him he was in hell and bowing his head to the suffering was a sure-fire way to keep it from getting unbearably worse.

Kaden wanted to die most of the time. This wasn’t living, this pain-racking, dull high, dream-like state he was in. The most he felt was unbothered, but he still wanted it to end somewhere in his heart.

A lot of the time was just boredom and being unable to concentrate only made time inch by slower. Kaden counted in his head, but could never get very high before he lost count. He’d get to 5 and forget what comes next, get to 11 and realize 8 doesn’t come after 7, so how’d he get to 11? What number was he really on?

He tried to tell himself a story. He told himself there was a knight who fought a dragon, and he’d try to think of a reason why. Maybe he was saving a princess. Maybe the dragon had a buncha gold. Maybe the knight’s home was burned down by the dragon.

But by the time he’d pick a motivation and imagine the knight going off on his quest and facing his first challenge, he’d get confused and couldn’t remember exactly what he’d chosen. He’d get frustrated and let his mind ebb back into empty space of unfocused thought.

Kaden started singing to himself, softly, half-remembered melodies. If he couldn’t remember the words, which he never did, he’d rattle off whatever words popped into his mind.

As a result he’d get terribly mixed up songs that often made no sense even to him. He’d sing, “Tonight, I know what underneath the stars with how you go, I know, bringing us up down into the what is it…” His word-salad-y lyrics sounded crazed at best, but they comforted him in a way that trying to engage in thinking didn’t.

He could get some semblance of order with Christmas songs, which many he almost had memorized, at least the simple ones. He sang Let It Snow over and over, and when his mind got less foggy, he started adding verses that had a sense of logic to them.

Sometimes he made up songs, and he’d usually memorize them if he liked them enough. He sang about wanting to die, he sang about being awful, he sang about missing the birds and the forest. He sang about wanting cake and not remembering how old he was and wondering what the weather was outside. He sang about hate and about suffering and about feeling like he was losing himself and going insane.

Sometimes George would come down stairs while Kaden drowsily sang for singing’s sake and he’d listen and go quiet. He never said anything about it though.

Kaden tried very hard to stay human.

 

Luke was naked on the couch. It was still dark, and for a moment his foggy, buzzed mind had trouble searching for what had made him wake up, how he’d got there.

Dimly, he remembered fucking Kaden and he suddenly felt chilled.

And more than that, Kaden was gone. He had fallen asleep with the kid’s face buried in his chest, but now the space next to him was empty yet warm.

Luke blinked, trying to make out what was around him. The TV was still on, flickering and casting bold streaks of light across the fabric in front of him.

He heard a creak and ragged nervous breathing behind him, and in his dull mind something felt a twinge of alarm, but it didn’t register with the rest of his body.

Not until a sharp blade pierced his back.

 

Kaden didn’t know how long it had been, but eventually his legs healed. He didn’t believe Xander had really broken through the bone, probably gave him minor fractures at best. Still, Kaden had trouble walking again, and it became to clear to both him and George that he just wasn’t going to have a normal gait anymore. Kaden already favored his right leg because of a previous ankle injury, but now his walk had a pronounced limp to it.

Not that Kaden saw how it mattered, considering how much of his time was spent on his back or on the floor underneath George. Once Kaden was recovered enough, George started having sex with him.

George wanted to play games. He asked Kaden to pretend that he was his son one time. Another instance he tied Kaden up and they pretended George had just kidnapped him. The most common scenario seemed to be that George was a teacher and Kaden was his student. George even had an old school desk down here, a textbook, and a ruler. Kaden wondered if maybe George was a school teacher or something, and this was just his weird fantasy that he wanted to enact with one of his students.

Kaden didn’t ask.

George was married. He noticed George had had a ring before, but so had many of the men he had slept with, so he hardly thought a thing of it. However, George’s wife, Tammie, actually came down to the room Kaden was being held in frequently. She smiled at him in a condescending way and brought him food.

As far as Kaden was aware, he wasn’t allowed to leave the basement. It was small, but there was a small bathroom he had to himself, which was a nice change. The TV got no cable, but it had a VHS player and Kaden had many old TV shows to choose from to watch, anything from the Twilight Zone to the Addams Family, Little House of the Prairie, black-and-white stuff like that. Kaden’d always put something on even if he was going to sleep because the creaking of the house made him very nervous. Reminded him of Jerry’s house. He’d also always rewind the tapes when he was done, he was nervous about getting in trouble for not taking care of them. Though even still, he was the only one using them, so it made sense to not make it inconvenient for himself.

Tammie seemed very okay with the fact that George had sex with him, and sometimes she’d watch and they’d find ways humiliate him. Kaden didn’t really understand their dynamic.

Other times Tammie came down to have sex with him on her own. Kaden didn’t know what he really expected from her. Before Jerry, he thought he had been straight. But he felt as averse to Tammie’s touch as any of the mens’. She handled him the same way, she touched him like he was her pet. She had him give her oral sex and it felt just as unnatural as giving head. At this point Kaden rarely thought about his orientation, it didn’t make a difference, he’d be raped either way, but he had to admit to himself that he felt much more repulsed to Tammie than George. Maybe it was because he was used to seeing naked men by now and her form was just too alien to him. Maybe it was because he wished for her to help him, not rape him. Or maybe it was just Tammie herself, the fact that she smiled at him like he was a bug. Kaden didn’t know, but he really dreaded interacting with her.

Kaden did get her to give him some paper and pencils, and he started drawing. He made little comics with simple figures and mildly funny punchlines. George read some and thought they were funny. Kaden, encouraged, started focusing on two dog characters, a big dog with pointed ears, and a small weiner dog. Most of his jokes were dark and some made no sense. In one strip he made the big dog trick the small dog into jumping into a pit of alligators and the next dozen panels were the alligators raping and eating the dog while it cried “Why?” and the big dog laughed. Kaden included a lot of rape jokes, and lot of jokes about mutilation that often hinged on the logic that the small dog deserved it and the big dog was cruel and mean and unbeatable. George read these comics more seriously, and looked at Kaden a bit oddly. He’d give a strained laugh, and for the most part stopped reading them. Kaden stopped writing them eventually and started focusing on writing poems. Most were glorified suicide notes, and he hid them from George who seemed uninterested in reading them anyways, after seeing Kaden’s dog comic spiral.

One thing Kaden had to admit was that he was in a considerable amount of comfort here, with George. He was no longer in constant pain, he had time to relax and pursue nonsense that comforted him. Kaden was okay here. He dimly realized he no longer truly wanted to be free. It scared him. He felt engulfed in this world Jerry had forced him into kicking and screaming. Kaden felt stupid, like somehow he’d become retarded or regressed somehow. He could think clearer now that he wasn’t in constant pain or starvation or worry, but he still felt foggy-minded. Humans need healthy human interaction, and this wasn’t it.

Kaden loved George, and he tolerated Tammie. He never checked if the door out of the basement was locked. He never tried to escape. He was afraid of the outside world. His only window into normalcy was the old TV shows he watched, but they seemed so far from reality that they didn’t really register with him.

When Kaden read his comics about the dogs and looked at his poems, he felt like he was looking at the ramblings of an insane person. He knew this wasn’t normal. He knew his thinking was very off-base, that his logic and worldview at its very core was toxic. The cognitive dissonance he felt from constantly lying to himself and his rapists about his situation, about his feelings, he felt like the truth didn’t matter. That everything felt fake, he couldn’t tell it apart. Everything was movie-like, he had no control in it.

So Kaden held onto what he could, and wrote poems to himself in the dark, claustrophobic basement, wishing for death and wishing for things to stay the same.

But they didn't.

They never do.

 

Luke yelped and tried to crawl away as the knife stabbed him again and again.

Luke twisted and grabbed the weapon with his hand, the blade drawing red liquid, it pooled down his arm and onto the couch.

The hand holding it let go and the figure stumbled backwards.

“K-Kaden, why?!” Luke cried, letting the knife fall to the ground and curling up into a ball on the couch. Hot blood ran down his back, the pain half-paralyzed him, maybe Kaden had hit and organ or something?

Kaden didn’t answer, his breathing made it sound like he was crying. The door rattled and burst open, Kaden tumbled out and his footsteps faded away, leaving Luke’s apartment door ajar.

Luke pressed himself against the couch with a moan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey thanks everyone for reading and leaving comments and stuff, i really appreciate it


	14. Monster

Kaden didn’t know why he had done it. He sat on the cot, the Andy Griffith show mumbling in the background as Tammie’s body slowly bled out in front of him.

She had raped him, she hadn’t been particularly rough with him though. It had been like the other hundreds of times before. 

Kaden didn’t know why he had done it.

He gripped the razor blade in his hand, cutting into his palm and making dark red liquid stream down his elbow. He had taken it out of the razor they had given him to shave. They gave him soap and shampoo and everything he needed for his bathroom to keep himself comfortably clean. Kaden usually washed himself three or four times a day out of an obsession of not ever feeling clean. If he let it get too bad he’d scrub his skin raw, he wished he could scratch away his suffocating tattoos.

He took the razor blade and kept it under his pillow a month ago. He was getting paranoid at the noises the house made at night, the noises the TV didn’t down out.

He’d wake up in a panic, he felt hands squeezing his throat and pushing him down and scratching him, clawing at his eyes. Kaden flailed and screamed and would stumbled out of bed, turning the lamp on. His heart would beat a million miles an hour and the sweat would stick to him cold. He’d leave the light on the rest of the night, unable to sleep until he passed out from exhaustion, only truly being unconscious in the early hours of the morning when the sun had just risen.

Kaden never intended to use the blade, it was a comfort more than anything.

Kaden didn’t know why he had killed her.

The day before George played a game with him where Kaden got punished for getting questions wrong. It was the student-teacher game that George liked so much. Kaden didn’t know the answers, he hadn’t been in school for years and the subject was fairly specific, so he got punished a lot. George smacked him with a sharp wooden ruler. Because Kaden didn’t get a single question right, George wanted to give him a final punishment as well.

He held him down and raped him against the floor, on his back, and Kaden normally lost himself at that point. He always put up a struggle for most of it, because George wanted him to, but at some point he’d surrender and go limp and he’d almost feel like he was outside of his body. He felt unaffected, uninvolved. Completely numb.

But that day it didn’t happen. Kaden had no idea why, but he suddenly needed to fight. He suddenly didn’t want to be raped, it was feeling way too much. He started panicking the way he felt at night when he got irrationally scared. He suddenly felt that George was going to kill him, that he was going to die.

Kaden started screaming and kicking and clawing to get away. George seemed surprised. He was used to struggling, but this was true desperation, true not caring if George got hurt or what the consequences might be. In his shock, George slammed Kaden’s head against the ground with a sickening crack and suddenly all got fuzzy and dark and dizzy.

Kaden couldn’t move, he wasn’t blind but he couldn’t process anything he saw. He groaned raggedly, a pure primal-like noise of fear and pain.

George was saying something, maybe apologizing? Kaden didn’t know. He felt being picked up and placed on the cot and questions being asked. Kaden closed his eyes and started crying. His head throbbed, he felt like someone was stabbing a nail into his temple.

He felt a hand stroking his hair and soft voices, and suddenly Kaden got very tired and fell into a blank but troubled sleep.

In the morning George only visited to ask how he was doing, and Kaden apologized for his behavior, saying he didn’t know what happened. George looked worried, but he told him to take it easy, he’d be back later.

But then Tammie came down, wanting sex. And Kaden got the same panicked feeling, though he tried to hold back. The whole time she used him he was shaking and crying, and though she seemed to notice he was acting different, she didn’t seem to care. By the time she was done, Kaden couldn’t hold back anymore. As she walked away he reached under his pillow. He snatched the razor and jumped onto her back. She tried to throw him off but he stabbed her in the neck over and over and over until they both fell to the ground.

Kaden scrambled up and onto the bed and stared into space, shaking.

He knew why he had done it.

She reminded him of his mom. She looked like her.

Two thoughts occurred to him: He was a monster, and he was going to die.

Kaden laughed uncontrollably and then started crying. He curled into a ball and his chest ached.

 

Luke felt numb. He writhed, thoughts plaguing him. It’s all over, if someone found him and saved him, he’d going to go to jail for rape. They’re going to see him and judge him, he’s going to bleed out before they get here, he’s gonna die and be remembered as a pedophile. Where the fuck did Kaden go? Why’d he do that? Fuck, he really was raping him! He was taking advantage of him! Kaden was too messed up, of course he didn’t want sex! 

That’s why he stabbed me, Luke thought with a groan.

What was going to happen to Kaden? Was everything Luke did for nothing? Was he just returning to that same life?

Oh god, this was so wrong! 

Luke wanted to die, he felt everything go hazy. He cried and prayed and begged to be forgiven, for another chance. He reached blindly at the coffee table, but he knew his cell was in the other room. He couldn’t move. He bled onto the couch and felt cold. He closed his eyes in defeat.

Then Stormy meowed at him, a worried noise he’d never heard from her before, and suddenly Luke didn’t want to die.

He got up, feeling unbearable pain in his lower back, fire shooting up him. It brought tears to his eyes, it was like pulling teeth to stand up.

Staggering into the kitchen, naked, he grabbed his phone.

He collapsed onto the floor, calling the emergency number.

The voice on the other end was a mumble to him. “I-I’ve been stabbed, I’ve been stabbed with a knife, I-” Luke tried to say, and suddenly everything around him went black.

 

George had never beaten Kaden before, never hurt him outside of sex. Now Kaden felt as bad as when he first arrived, dull fire the only thing he felt, he had no sense of direction. He was blind and deaf to all but fuzzy words.

Kaden wanted to apologize, but he couldn’t feel himself. He didn’t even know where his limbs were. He felt bodiless, and only the aching pain reminded him he was still alive.

After this Kaden’s memories went missing. Days, weeks, months? He had no idea. The next he remembered was being forced to swallow a cock in a dingy bathroom, having his hands tied behind his back, feeling bruises forming on his face.

At the time Kaden had context but slowly that faded.

The next memory after that was being held down and having a tattoo on his right arm removed. Eventually it was replaced with a barcode and a message: “This whore has no right to refuse any kind of use and has relinquished all control of itself. Please fuck and abuse this body as you please. It enjoys torture. It is for public use.”

At some point Kaden figured out his new owner was a man named Hank Ellis, who leant him out to people through another man named Mr. Clare. Hank never touched Kaden, he mostly seemed invested in drug dealing and only cared about Kaden as a source of money.

No one talked to him for the most part, nor did his clients gave him kind treatment as they had in the past, when he had been with Xander. They tied him up constantly for everyone’s safety. Kaden figured he was marked as a violent, unpredictable monster by now.

Kaden wished he had been able to say goodbye to George. That he could have apologized.

They treated him like a dog. Kaden only spoke when his clients wanted him to, otherwise he was expected to keep his mouth shut. They kept him in a cage, he rarely had any outlets at all anymore.

Kaden missed them. He missed George, he cried and pined for him. Living in the basement had been so much better than this. He felt like he had been cast out of heaven, that’s what that place now was to him. He romanticized it in his mind, not evenly dimly aware of how fucked up he would have once found it, living in a basement and being raped by a couple. Here all he could see it as was the ideal situation.

Some time later Hank sold Kaden to Mr. Clare permanently, and Kaden never saw Hank again. He never knew why, and he hardly was able to recognize Hank anyways. He hardly processed any information anymore.

Mr. Clare was like Hank in that he didn’t fuck Kaden, but instead used him for money. Sometimes Kaden was around drug dealings, and sometimes his clients got him high or drunk against his will so he’d be an easier fuck.

Kaden did what was easiest, he didn’t care. Kaden never tried to escape, he did what he was told without complaint. He was so submissive that some of Mr. Clare’s associates tortured him, trying to get a reaction out of him. They never got him to fight back, and some wondered if the report that he was violent was true or not. 

He was so obedient that eventually they started having him smuggle drugs. They brought him to clubs where his appearance and age wouldn’t be questioned. Kaden was walked down the street and was fucked in alleys and motels, and walked away with money for Mr. Clare.

One of those people was a man named Henry. Kaden knew him because he’d fuck him regularly. He’d get him high and want him to beg, so that’s what Kaden did.

Henry pushed him against the wall in the cold alley. “Tell me what you want you fucking whore.”

“I want your cock in my mouth,” Kaden said automatically. “I want to taste you, I want you to fuck my throat. Please sir, please, please.”

He was pushed onto his knees and he sucked Henry off. At some point Henry forced him to the ground and thrusted in and out of his throat. Kaden didn’t care, his voice was permanently husky from the abuse by now.

When Henry finished and Kaden had swallowed, Henry chuckled at him. “You’re such a slut, you know that? You should feel ashamed of yourself, you fucking faggot. You’re so disgusting.”

Kaden blinked at him. “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t hate myself? I’ve been being raped since I was twelve, and I’ve never enjoyed sex, not once. I want to die, Henry. I want to fucking die because life to me is an unending unrelenting hell.”

Henry seemed a little taken aback. He went quiet and tossed him his money and left.

Kaden didn’t think much of it.

One day Henry stole from Mr. Clare. Kaden found out when the man grabbed him and choked him, demanding to know what Kaden knew of the conspiracy. Kaden had no idea, but apparently Henry had said that it was all Kaden’s idea and that we was trying to escape.

Mr. Clare tied Kaden to a chair and put a cloth over his face. They poured water on him, demanding answers, and Kaden screamed and thrashed at the endless feeling of drowning. He begged them, he had no idea what Henry was talking about, they had to believe him! He was sorry! He was telling the truth!

After some hours Kaden made up a lie. He agreed Henry was right, and he was sorry. Kaden didn’t know if Mr. Clare believed him but they stopped. Mr. Clare said that Kaden needed to be punished for his betrayal.

So one of Mr. Clare’s lackeys dragged Kaden into an alley with orders to beat him up and leave him for dead. They wanted him to come crawling back if he survived.

And that was the night he met Luke.


	15. Be Normal

“How you holding up?” Steve asked, sipping his coffee. He sat across from Luke in the booth which was situated next to a window that caught all the morning light and streaked it across his face.

Luke sighed. His wound clearly seemed to be giving him trouble, but he’d been given the go-ahead and discharged from the hospital. “I’ll be fine.”

“I told you you need to lock your doors,” Steve said, shaking his head. “You know one of the apartments in my building was broken into too? No one got stabbed,” he gestured at Luke, “but still. You’re lucky Kaden didn’t get hurt, poor kid.”

“He ran as soon as he realized the police and the emergency medics were going to show up,” Luke said, looking hurt. Steve felt bad for him, it must’ve been tough having the kid run away after all he had done to help him.

“Hey, it’s not your fault. He’s not your responsibility,” Steve said. “You tried your best.”

“I think I’ve done more harm than good,” Luke muttered.

Steve tried to be sympathetic. He’d never seen Luke so hard on himself before. It must’ve been the kid’s awful situation that was making him like this. It made Steve sick to think about it. Luke had gotten so riled up at the tattoo artist, it was clear he was invested.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ve gathered everything we need for the case,” Steve said.

“What? Really?”

He nodded. “I checked up on those people I told you about, and they all have incriminating evidence against them. Jerry Thompson, I’ve got insider testimony from a former employee that he forged documents in his ex-wife and Kaden’s deaths. That Xander guy, Xander Brinley, they found a dead girl covered in tattoos like Kaden’s five years ago and they never found who did it. I matched their tattoos. The George Mason guy, his wife was found dead a year ago and they found a weird set up in his basement and some pictures that looked like they were drawn by a kid and some suicide notes. They didn’t have enough evidence, though, so they let him go. Hank Ellis and Thomas Clare both have connections to the Mason guy and illegal drugs.”

“You really pulled through, Steven, wow,” Luke blinked.

He grinned. “I’m turning all of it in to the police, anonymously. Even if Kaden won’t testify, perhaps it will be enough to get someone to stop these motherfuckers from hurting anyone else.”

Luke looked out the window at the street. He seemed to be distracted and Steve frowned.

“Steven, that kid is going to end up dead, I just know it. He’s been in that world to long, I think. He’s...” he shook his head. “I just know he’s back in it now.”

Steve sighed. “I looked for him while you were in the hospital, but I found no trace.”

“I know,” Luke said, but he sounded like he didn’t.

 

Later, Steve walked with Luke back to his apartment. The February air was crisp and bright. The sidewalks glittered with frost, and cars bustled by in a frenzy. It was a good day to be bundled up and walk slowly down the street. 

Suddenly, to his left, Luke froze. “K-Kaden?”

Steve snapped his attention. In the alley next to them was a figure shivering in a dingy coat behind a dumpster. Steve wouldn’t have even noticed him, the only thing sticking out was his twisted right ankle.

Luke dashed into the alley and Steve followed, his hands forming fists in case there was trouble.

Luke fell to his knees crying before the figure. Kaden’s eyes snapped open and he started whimpering and cowering, pressing himself against the wall, trying to inch away from Luke.

“I’m so sorry, Kaden, I won’t hurt you,” Luke was shaking. Steve’s breath hitched, he was trying to understand the scene before him,

“Hey, it’s okay,” Steve said, crouching. “Kaden, why are you out here? It’s too cold.”

Kaden shook his head. His tattoos showed on his neck, his wrists, his ankles. His oversized coat didn’t look like anything was underneath, it had stains of both blood and unknown substances. Bruises formed on the side of the kid’s jaw, his hair was a mess. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, his lips were cracked and bleeding from the cold, and his skin was far bluer than it should be.

“Kaden, you need help. Real help,” Steve said.

Kaden started crying. “No, no, no, no...”

Steve looked at Luke. “He needs a fucking psychologist at this point. He needs a doctor.”

Kaden started to try and get up, like he was going to run away, but the slightest push from Steve made him stay put. “This is for your own good, alright?”

Luke shook. “Wh-what about us? If he tells them we knew about him, I harbored him, we could go to jail.”

Steve took out his phone and dialed. “I don’t care anymore. You said it yourself, he’s going to die like this. It’s for the best.”

An ambulance arrived a few minutes later and took Kaden to the hospital. Steve and Luke walked home.

 

Luke was nervous. He knocked on the door again, wondering if it had been too soon to do that. His eyes were glued to the carpet, but they snapped up once he heard the door click open.

“Hey, you really came,” Kaden said with a smile. It looked sad, whenever Luke had seen him after he got out, he looked a little sad, even when he was happy.

“I owed you that at least,” Luke said, coughing.

Kaden invited him in, and Luke sat at the table. He noticed a cat rubbing against his legs and he asked about it.

“I found him as a stray,” Kaden said. “Your story about Stormy sort of inspired me, I named him Sunny.”

“That’s a good name,” Luke said, stroking the orange cat.

After Kaden had been taken to the hospital and his apparent death investigated, his story was on the news for weeks. They never showed his face, but description of his tattoos were enough to make anyone who saw him immediately recognize him.

They put Kaden into intensive therapy for years. He had been moved to several support homes, and he’d tried to commit suicide at least five times. That were reported. Luke had kept up with his story, waiting for the police to come knocking at his door. But they never came. Kaden must’ve left that part of his story out, and Luke wondered why. Luke had never forgotten about Kaden, he thought about him every day for three years. Eventually he’d found Kaden online, gathered up his courage and contacted him. He had to know if he was okay.

And Kaden invited him over.

Kaden lived near the city in a very nice house. Luke supposed the settlements he got from the five men they convicted, not to mention from the men and women he helped identify as complicit.

Luke noticed several textbooks on the table.

“I’m taking classes,” Kaden said proudly. “I want to get a degree in psychology, maybe help people like me.”

“You don’t cover your tattoos up,” Luke said. Kaden was wearing a T-shirt and shorts, as was the fashion in summertime, and his tattoos were visible.

“I don’t see the need to hide what happened to me,” Kaden said. “I didn’t do this to myself. I could get them removed, but it’s painful. They’re a part of me, and they reminded me that I’m stronger than they are.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone about what I did to you?” Luke blurted out. “I-I raped you. Just like the men who gave you those tattoos.”

Kaden looked blank for a moment and then said, “Because I don’t think you meant it? I dunno, it’s a bit fucked up, but I don’t feel like you deserve to go to jail. I don’t think you’re a danger to anyone. And I tried to kill you,” he laughed strained-ly, “so I guess we can be even.”

“When you were living with me, you were out of your mind,” Luke said.

“I didn’t know what was real, I’d been forced to think a certain way for years, it was how I survived,” Kaden said. “It still...I still get stuck that way sometimes. I get panic attacks, I have insomnia. I have help, but some things haunt me. I don’t know if they’ll ever go away, or if I’ll ever be normal,” he added quietly. “I’ve been fucked up.”

“I’m sorry,” Luke said.

They were silent for a moment.

“I wanted you to come here for a different reason too.”

“What is it?” Luke asked.

“You said you’re a writer, right? You do non-fiction?”

“Yeah, I do freelance work like that.”

“I want to write down my story,” Kaden said. “And I don’t think I can do it myself. I’m no good at writing, and I don’t know if I could get my thoughts straight on my own.”

“I’ll help you, I certainly can do this for you,” Luke said. “I think it’s a good idea.”

“It-it’s hard to listen to. I told the police and the counselors, and it sounds really fucking disturbing, even to me. I lived through it.”

“Kaden if you survived it, the least I can do is listen.”

Kaden nodded sadly. “Thank you.”

When Luke got up to leave, Kaden gave him a tight hug. He was still so short and scrawny from the years of abuse, even at 20 he was over a head shorter than Luke. Reciprocating, Luke hugged him back, and then went to pull away only to notice that Kaden started sobbing.

“Wh-what’s wrong? What did I do?” Luke said, feeling a tinge of fear and guilt and those other familiar emotions boiling up from all those years ago.

“I really did like you,” Kaden said. “I still do. I don’t know why, I don’t even know if it’s real or if it’s something I got from those men, but-but I...it feels real.”

“It’s okay,” Luke said uncertainly. “It’s...okay.”

Kaden pulled away, wiping his eyes. “Do you...are you even gay? Did you even like me back then?”

“I don’t know. It was such a weird situation,” Luke said, taking a step back. “But I do care about you a lot, Kaden. I don’t want you to be in a place where you feel taken advantage of, like you were back then.”

“I don’t,” Kaden said. “I feel okay now, like I’m thinking clearly.”

Luke smiled. “That’s good.”

“Can I try again?” Kaden asked. “Can we start over and take things slow, and do things right?”

“Okay. Let’s start with the book and see how things go,” Luke said, feeling a bit nervous, but also a bit...he didn’t know. Happy? Excited? Nervous?

Maybe he really did love the kid.

“I’m not going to...going to offer sex or anything like that,” Kaden said. “Not...not until we both want to. I’m not even sure if I want to anymore. It might be okay if it’s you.”

“Kaden, it’s okay. We’ll figure it out. You have your therapist, we can ask for advice.”

Kaden smiled. “Yeah.”

Again, Luke went to leave, but Kaden stopped him one last time, grabbing his hand.

“Thanks for taking me in.”

Luke nodded dumbly. “No problem.”

And Kaden smiled once again, this time losing the tinge of sadness that always seemed to shadow him. Although he was still covered in tattoos, and he was permanently disfigured and physically retarded, and although he was plagued with night terrors and got anxiety attacks when he visited hotel rooms or saw ropes and gags in front of him, and although Kaden would never be normal, he was still able to be happy. None of his abusers took that away from him. 

He was able to get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey we're finally done with this trek into darkness, and now we are at the light at the other side. thanks for reading


End file.
